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Lovett or Leave It

Texas Hold Me (Live from Austin!)

Lovett or Leave It

Crooked Media

Comedy, News

4.725.1K Ratings

🗓️ 23 April 2024

⏱️ 113 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Congress passes Ukraine aid and Trump passes… time in Court. We’re back in Austin for this year’s Moontower comedy festival. Lovett tries to convince the Sklar Brothers to open up a fresh can of worms. Joyelle Nicole Johnson wouldn’t trust Greg Abbott farther than she can throw him. Tim Miller weighs in on which Trump lackeys are all hat and no cattle. Zach Zucker keeps his saddled oiled for the men of the Wild West, and we bring it on home with a do-si-do around the Texas Rant Wheel. Tour dates & cities: crooked.com/events

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hello Austin.

0:16.0

It is lovely to see you all. It'd have to see that with the stool, but if it's in my rider, if there's a stool on the stage I freak out.

0:35.0

Welcome to Love It or Leave It live from the Paramount Theater

0:38.0

here in Austin, Texas. I've been here for 26 hours and as is my custom I've only eaten two meals

0:50.9

so fucked up.

0:57.0

I had some Tex-Max. And some Tex-Max. And barbecue. It's, uh, see, I don't want to tell you.

1:08.0

I've done this before, you know, here's, there was one of the proudest moments in my life and I

1:17.6

was in the room when President Obama signed Obama care.

1:22.0

One of the proudest moments in my life was when we did the show in Austin and we were

1:29.9

ranking the briskets blind and I realize not only could I rank them I could identify

1:37.7

where they were from

1:40.4

But that was years ago.

1:43.0

I don't think I have the I don't I don't I haven't kept up the skill

1:47.6

But I will say I'm realizing that basically

1:50.4

It's as if like you know there's Tex-Mex and there's barbecue and like it's like

1:56.3

one's a liquid and one's a solid. But anyway, I'm not going to eat again until May.

2:15.2

This week on the show, the Sklar Brothers put their identical dukes up. Comedian and former substitute teacher,

2:19.6

Jule Nicole Johnson, goes for the gold star.

2:22.5

Zach Zucker is back and you won't believe who he's willing to have sex with.

2:27.0

And Tim Miller is Big Simpen.

2:31.0

Plus, we'll end with a Texas right of passage ranting incoherently.

2:39.0

Lastly, we're doing our high notes live tonight, so think of something great to share with us.

...

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