Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm bailiff Jesse Thorne. This week, Texas, hold him in contempt.

Colin brings the case against his best friend, Nick. Colin and Nick play poker every month.

Nick fondly remembers playing poker with Colin's co-worker, Joey. But here's the kicker. Colin says,

Joey has never been to poker night. Joey doesn't even play poker. Holland thinks Nick is confused,

but Nick says, Holland is bluffing. Who's right? Who's wrong? only one can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman

enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural reference. Dear mom and dad, camp is good.

Don't worry. I'm not lonely. I've already made three friends. Their names are pop,

clown, and opera. Bailiff, Jesse Thorne, please swear the litigants in. Colin and Nick, please rise and raise your right hands.

You swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

So help you, God or whatever.

I swear.

Absolutely. I swear.

Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that he himself is a poker shark?

Yes, I swear.

Is that poker lingo? I think so.

Judge John Hodgman, you may proceed.

Yeah.

Colin and Nick, you may be seated for an immediate summary judgment in one of your favors.

Can either of you name the piece of culture that I read from as I entered this courtroom?

Judge John Hodgman flopped on the river. Is that something? That's definitely something. I'm always

flopping on the river. Speaking of rivers and flopping, what was that movie with the teens at the camp?

Oh, no. Wet Hot American Summers, Mike.

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