Terry Real: Standing Up to One Another with Love

Sounds True: Insights at the Edge

Tami Simon

Religion, Religion & Spirituality

4.6 • 1.8K Ratings

🗓️ 29 August 2018

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Terry Real is a family therapist, public speaker, and the founder of the Relational Life Institute. Terry's written works include I Don't Want to Talk About It, How Can I Get Through to You?, and The New Rules of Marriage. With Sounds True, he has created the audio program Fierce Intimacy: Standing Up to One Another with Love. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Terry about his somewhat unusual, do-or-divorce approach to couples therapy. They talk about deal breakers in relationships and why they don't necessarily need to end a partnership. Terry explains what it means to hold a "core negative image" of a partner, why this is all too common, and why recognition of that core image can actually strengthen a relationship. Finally, Terry and Tami discuss what "fierce intimacy" truly entails and why canny relationship skills are the very same qualities that will help the human race rise to meet the challenges of the future. (64 minutes)

Transcript

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0:00.0	This program is brought to you by sounds true.com.
0:04.0	At sounds true.com you can find hundreds of downloadable audio
0:08.0	learning programs, plus books, music, videos, and online courses, and events.
0:14.0	At sounds true.com, we think of ourselves as a trusted partner on the spiritual journey,
0:20.0	offering diverse, in-depth, and life-changing wisdom.
0:24.0	Sounds True.com, many voices, one journey. You're listening to Insights at the edge. Today my guest is Terry Real.
0:44.6	Terry is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker and author. He
0:51.9	founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops or
0:56.5	couples, individuals, and parents. A family therapist and teacher for more than 25 years.
1:04.0	Terry is the best-selling author of,
1:06.7	I don't want to talk about it, overcoming
1:09.1	the secret legacy of male depression.
1:12.4	And most recently, the new rules of marriage. What you need to
1:17.6	make love work with sounds true Terry has created a new audio learning series called fierce intimacy
1:26.1	standing up to one another with love. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Terry and I spoke about the deal breakers that can happen in a relationship and how it's possible for these deal breakers to not necessarily be a death sentence or
1:45.7	relationships. We talked about developing the skill of what Terry calls
1:51.4	relational mindfulness and how to take care of your partner when you're
1:56.8	processing a difficult issue.
1:59.8	We talked about the golden rule of relational empowerment and some examples of the golden rule in action.
2:09.2	We talked about what it means to hold, core negative image of your partner.
2:15.0	What Terry calls the CNI, yes you heard that right, core negative image of your partner, and it's normal to do so and the importance of
2:27.2	a nursing these CNIs and how they actually give you the operating instructions that you need on your partner.
	...

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