Tenderoni Hotline #7: Why You Keep Wanting Closure from Your Ex + Why You Constantly Ask for Reassurance in Your Relationship

Feminist Wellness

Béa Victoria Albina

Lifecoaching, Mental Health, Holistic, Feminist, Self-improvement, Fatigue, Alternative Health, Feelingstuckinlife, Spirituality, Healthygut, Health & Fitness, Mindbodyconnection, Guthealth, Connectionsbetweenthoughtsandhealth, Education, Ibs, Gutmicrobiome, Feminism

4.9 • 988 Ratings

🗓️ 17 November 2025

⏱️ 14 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Tenderoni Hotline #7: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of The Feminist Wellness Podcast, where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and reclaiming your self-trust.

In today’s episode, we’re diving into two deeply relatable questions that so many of us carry quietly. First, what’s really going on when you can’t stop thinking about your ex and keep reaching for “closure,” even though you know they won’t give you what you need? We’ll explore why this craving is less about them and more about your nervous system’s longing for completion, and how to create that sense of closure from within.

Then we turn toward the ache of constantly seeking reassurance, even in a loving, safe relationship. If you find yourself asking “Are we okay?” again and again, this part is for you. We’ll unpack the roots of that pattern and talk about how to gently retrain your nervous system to trust safety, love, and steadiness without outsourcing your emotional security.

You’ll walk away with nervous system-informed tools, a whole lot of compassion, and a deeper understanding of why your brain and body respond the way they do. Because you’re not broken. You’re healing.

So settle in, grab your cozy beverage of choice, and let’s get into it.

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsouring here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, cutie, before we start today, I want to tell you a tiny secret about the book world that still
0:05.0	blows my mind. Publishers don't print mountains of books. They print a wee modest stack and wait to see
0:11.4	if people care enough to keep that stack alive. You are the signal they listen to. You, when you buy a
0:18.9	copy or 10 for your holiday gifting, you're telling them this work matters.
0:23.9	When you, yes, you leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads, even if your copy came from your local
0:29.4	independent bookstore or your library, you're telling them this book needs to stay in the world.
0:35.7	When you leave a review, take a screenshot and head to Beatricealbina.com
0:39.6	slash book. You'll find breathwork, audiobook giveaway, and even coaching raffles waiting for you.
0:47.7	Thank you for doing your part. I appreciate you.
1:06.2	This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics and nervous system nerd, and life coach, Bea Victoria Albina.
1:09.9	I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety,
1:12.7	perfectionism, and codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart. Welcome, my love.
1:17.9	Let's get started.
1:23.6	Hello, hello, my love. I hope this finds you doing so well, welcome to this week's
1:30.2	tenderoni hotline and thank you to Billy who gave me that amazing name for this new segment.
1:36.6	If you're enjoying it, let me know. Give the show a five star rating and review. Holler on
1:41.5	Instagram and hey, if you haven't picked up your copy of End Emotional
1:46.3	outsourcing my new book, I'd be so grateful if you did. We are in this really critical first
1:51.9	few months after publication where you tell the publisher that you want more feminist work. You
1:58.3	want more feminist takes on old tropes like codependency,
2:02.5	perfectionism, and people pleasing. You want more work in this really challenging time
2:08.5	that's more compassionate, caring, and loving. If you want this book to end up in your public library
	...

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