Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex w/ Ian Kerner

Sex With Emily

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.3 • 6.8K Ratings

🗓️ 23 April 2021

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Renowned clinical sex therapist and best-selling author, Ian Kerner Ph.D. joins me today to talk about sex scripts, why fantasies are important for a relationship, the dynamics of kink, porn as “homework” and how to get into a flow state during sex. Dr. Kerner is the author of the legendary book She Comes First, “the thinking man’s guide to pleasuring a woman” and he just released a new book So, Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex. We cover a lot in this interview including what has changed in his last 20+ years as a practicing sex therapist. Hint: erectile dysfunction in younger men is real. Dr. Kerner (“the man who made oral sex into an art form”) walks us through his latest book and explains how you can decode and rewrite your relationship’s sex script and bring your erotic self into the bedroom to transform your sex life. We discuss the importance of psychological arousal, what happens to your body during the honeymoon phase, when to challenge the monogamy script, what to do when there is a “desire discrepancy” in a relationship and so much more. “When it comes to sex and relationship problems, many of us are leading lives of quiet desperation. Sometimes you can be lying in bed next to someone and feel a million miles apart. Talking about sex and relationships is hard, but self-silencing can be even harder in the long run.” – Dr. Kerner Show Notes: Ian's New Book: So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex Getting Cliterate w/ Dr. Ian Kerner Rosemary Basson Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. The Kinsey Institute For more information about Ian Kerner, visit: IanKerner.com For even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	If I asked most heterosexual couples, well how long did it take you to get to intercourse?
0:13.6	Most of my couples will say, hmm, two minute, one minute, two minute, three minutes.
0:19.8	So the sex script is so dominated by this one behavior.
0:25.1	Look into his eyes, they're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.
0:31.7	Eyes that mock our sacred institutions, bedroom eyes, they call them in a fight on day.
0:39.3	You're listening to Sex with Emily.
0:41.7	I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation
0:47.6	around sex.
0:49.4	I'm so excited because we're now in sex and relationship therapist and best-selling
0:53.7	author Ian Kurner, PhD, joins me to talk about literacy, female pleasure, his legendary
1:01.3	book, She Comes First, and his brand new book.
1:05.3	So tell me about the last time you had sex.
1:08.5	Everything he's learned in 20 plus years as a practicing sex therapist.
1:12.8	He describes that you could decode and rewrite your relationships sex script.
1:17.1	Yes, we all have them and how doing so will transform your sex life.
1:23.0	We discussed the importance of psychological arousal, what happens to your body during
1:27.6	the honeymoon phase and how to get into the flow state during sex.
1:32.6	We also share the effects of porn, solutions for mismatched sex drives, how to be more intentional
1:39.2	sexually and the inner workings of kink dynamics.
1:43.6	All right, intentions with Emily for each episode join me in sending an intention for
1:49.1	the show.
1:50.1	I encourage you to do this.
	...

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