Wally Wankoff.

The name on everyone's mind.

There isn't a soul in the world who doesn't know.

He's the world's most feared and respected businessman, as well as its most successful.

While Wankoff Enterprises has dipped into every vertical under the sun, and completely crushed it too.

There are three things Mr. Wankoff does better than just about anyone.

Bombs, candy, and toilets.

When a brain-dead 19-year-old too stupid to torture cats as a kid unwraps a candy bar, he's eating a wankoff.

When his grubby, candy-covered hands grips the console where he's remotely piling an MQ9

Reaper over rural Pakistan, the bomb he's going to drop as a wankoff bomb.

Then when he remembers he has to shit because he has the no-no feeling playing the guy.

The smartest man in the armed forces will sprint to the bathroom and just missed planting

a stinky in a wankoff toilet.

Wankoff once said, people will shit, eat candy, shit, and blow up the only movie theater

in the Bosdarwada Valley for as long as they live.

And so far he's been the most right man in the entire world.

And justly rewarded for it.

But it must be lonely at the top.

Or at least, Chucky Fuckett likes to imagine it is.

Because he's at the very bottom, a kind child with a good heart and without a penny to his

name.

Humble Chucky

...