I wonder if like me you have said something with good intentions to your son or

daughter only to have them misunderstand what you meant. I think probably I'm

guilty of you know that was really good and I say it like

passively or kind of dismissively or with some sense of obligation I'm your dad I

need to say that was really good but I don't really believe it.

They catch those things and I need to really be mindful of how I'm communicating with my children

because a small adjustment in my communication can make a big difference in that

parent-child relationship. Okay I'm John Fuller in the studio with Dr. Danny

Werta he heads our parenting team here at Focus on the Family.

And let's go ahead and hear now a conversation

Jim and Gene Daly had with Dr. Kevin Lehman.

He's been a guest here a number of times,

and they're going to talk about things we say to our kids and

how we can influence their behavior. Kevin one of the things you point out in the

book is that we as parents can inadvertently kind of pave the way for our kids to misbehave. I think it's a really important

point. So how do we do that?

We train them to misbehave. But be specific. Well, when you go in a supermarket or store,

mommies, I'll pick on you you what's the conversation with your kids I want that I want that that's the first thing so what does the parents say all right listen up

we're going in the store. Don't ask for a thing because the answer is no.

Wait, have you had a recorder in my van?

But that's what we do. What have we just said to the kids? And no running around,

no fooling around, and don't ask for any candy. Say it again. Just so they can hear you.

...