Tea Snob, with Johnny Pemberton
Jordan, Jesse, GO!
Jesse Thorn
4.8 • 3.5K Ratings
🗓️ 27 February 2026
⏱️ 70 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
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| 0:00.0 | Give a little time for the child within you. |
| 0:03.2 | Don't be afraid to be young and free. |
| 0:06.0 | Unto the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sex and run you. |
| 0:11.3 | It's Jordan Jesse Go. |
| 0:12.8 | I am the colonel, Jesse Thorne. |
| 0:14.6 | Jordan Morris, man, out of time. |
| 0:17.6 | Okay, tell me about why you are out of time. Well, I had an experience recently that maybe... I mean, I see that you're wearing sleeve garters, but besides that. Right, no, those are in now. It's called looks maxing. Okay. It involves... Sleeved garrows. It involves chipping away at your jawbone with a hammer and sleeve garters. And filing your teeth like the ancient lions. Yeah, I have some psychotic TikToks to send you. |
| 0:39.1 | But no, I had an experience recently that made me ask myself, when am I? |
| 0:43.4 | Oh, okay. |
| 0:44.3 | I was at the coffee bean the other day. |
| 0:47.5 | I'll stop you right there. |
| 0:48.9 | And tea leaf? |
| 0:49.8 | You better believe it. |
| 0:50.8 | Thank you very much. |
| 0:51.6 | You better believe it. |
| 0:52.9 | I was wondering if they'd jettisoned some dead weight. They had not. No, it's still the coffee bean and tea leaf. Got it. I was waiting in line behind a kind of mid-50s, 50-year-old guy. Didn't look like he was from the 50s. He was in his 50s. Right. This isn't that guy that thinks of the |
| 1:12.0 | smokehouse. No, this is not Jimmy Angel Teen Idol. Oh, God, I wish. I would have fanned out so hard. |
| 1:19.1 | You buy his coffee. Yeah. Sir, can I purchase your coffee for you? Right. Can I purchase the |
| 1:24.8 | glass of whole milk that you're ordered from this coffee shop? |
| 1:27.6 | If you're liking this story, see... |
| 1:30.7 | Sir, don't even order. |
| 1:32.2 | Can I get two cold buttermilks to please? |
... |
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