Miss Magic Maggie here from the House of Bliss in San Diego.

So this is a public service announcement.

I used to use tanning beds because I felt inadequate because I'm a Native American with white skin due to my druid ancestors.

But when I was in the tanning bed, I spread my legs so that I wouldn't have lines.

And now I've got two moles on my hoo-hoo on each side.

And so I would not suggest using tanning beds, be blissful.

And that's magic.

On this episode of the commercial break.

I was just kind of a mess.

And when you leave the house at 17 fucking years old, you don't know anything.

No, you think you do that.

Oh, I did.

Oh, yes, I did. I got this.

Yeah, I got this.

I got this mattress I'm going to take to my stripper's house, my stripper girlfriend's townhouse, and we're going to live there.

Little did I know they were running a little side business out of the house.

It was called escorting.

People were sneaking in it out of the back door.

They were.

They were opening the sliding glass door at like three in the morning.

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

The 30 of the morning!

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