Hello, I hope you enjoy this recording and consider that in accordance with the Buddhist tradition,

my talks are offered entirely without charge and supported by donations only.

Please feel invited to stop by DmaPunks NYC.com that's spelled with an X to check out a chapter

from my book Unsubscribe, which arrives November 2017, and thank you.

I'll start with Empathetic Connection

is the primary mechanism of all forms of healing, emotional healing. By which I mean it's not somebody giving you answers, telling me what to do, providing any kind of

consolation. It's not in somebody choosing wise spiritual words to say.

In my experience, that has a far less significant role than the simple maintaining of proximity, staying with someone,

attuning to them, which means locking eyes paying attention not having inner thoughts drift away and

empathy which is based on mirroring.

Mirroring is something you can't perform as something that has to be essentially felt.

Mirroring is the ability to in some small way connect with the emotions that someone else is displaying.

And... that someone else is displaying and essentially repeat or echo them back in a much more

in a way that feels not performed or over expressive but also shows, not tells, but shows that you get.

When it starts out from the earliest days of our birth the children their core drive is not for food

not for

liquid not for warmth the core drive of an infant is and all mammals is to connect

what Conrad Lorenz said to find a adult for

nurture for protection, for meeting all of our needs.

And that's the first parts of the brain

that go online, searching for essentially a face

face, another human being, a set of eyes to connect with, to be seen, to be held in the gaze of another.

...