Sweeps Week

Basketball Illuminati

Count The Dings

Comedy, Sports, Basketball

4.9 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 13 May 2026

⏱️ 70 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tom Haberstroh, producer Anthony Mayes and Pulitzer Prize Winner Amin Elhassan attempt to triangulate the perfect NBA career in terms of success, earnings and anonymity. The ping pong balls have settled from the draft lottery, with the Wizards' good luck charm of Anthony Davis securing the top spot. Will the Jazz trade up for AJ Dybantsa? Truth Teller Yaron Weitzman returns to discuss the 76ers and Lakers being swept out of the playoffs, what the future holds for those two franchises and his story about how the NBA developed their relationship with Emirates as a sponsor. *Recorded before Daryl Morey was fired* ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to the Illuminati YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the Count The Dings Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/countthedings⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Check it out here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Basketball Illuminati! On⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠basketballilluminati@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@bballilluminati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@basketballilluminati⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Fear is the virus is trending on TikTok.
0:03.2	Vaccines are poison.
0:05.2	Then your yoga teacher says that sex traffic children are being sacrificed by satanic liberals,
0:10.8	but it's all okay.
0:12.1	The Great Awakening is coming.
0:14.5	What is happening?
0:17.1	Every week on Conspiruality Podcast, we explore the fever dreams that suck friends, family, and wellness gurus down the right-wing cult spiral in a search for salvation.
0:30.7	I don't think I've ever thought about this.
0:32.4	The comment is made by me now, Hassenoff, made by him and him and nobody else.
0:36.4	If you could do a dream board about fame, success, money.
0:43.5	What do I want to be as an NBA player?
0:45.8	Like what is the perfect career?
0:47.4	And then this tweet came across my timeline.
0:50.2	This was on Monday night.
0:52.3	Sam Quinn of CBS says, okay, this is a hill I will die on.
0:57.3	The perfect career is Kyle Lowry.
1:00.6	You get the experience of being a superstar, but you aren't so iconic that you can't exist in public.
1:06.2	Beloved in a single city, I guess Toronto there, unknown in most of the world, won a title, won a gold
1:12.6	medal, made money, did it all. This is in response of someone saying that Tobias Harris had an
1:18.9	incredible story, a credible career, totally anonymous, made a quarter billion dollars
1:23.7	rewriting his way into the sunset. I mean, have you ever thought about this?
1:28.3	When I was a kid, I used to watch NBA games and wish I could be like, aspire to be the 11th man.
	...

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