Here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go, this is it!

Yeah, it says, Top Flight Time machine! I am Andy Hot Body Dawson, pow pow pow pow!

I'm Sam Nickney Delaydy, so what?

Sam, the sun is shining here, the air feels cleaner and fresher and crisper, my hair is shinier, my nose is wetter, I think I've grown by at least three quarters of an inch

because my posture is suddenly just straighter.

Your gums are healthier.

My gums are healthier, you can see just from looking at my gums are healthier.

Yeah, good healthy gums.

My tits are firmer, everything is incredible because Suggland have finally ended their 48-year drought at Wembley with the Papa John's trophy.

Oh my god, it was so good!

Oh, I've just had a big fucking grin on me face ever since five or whatever it was yesterday, was it tense?

Did you watch it with your lad?

Yeah, and my mum and dad as well, they came round as well.

I watched our last Wembley victory with them in 1973 when I was ten months old.

Well, actually I watched some of that one because Nana walked me round the block in my prime because everyone was shouting at the tele and I got a bit spooked.

I started crying, so I had to be taken from the room and I walked round the block, but I watched all of this one.

Oh god, it was tense, the match itself, if anyone saw it, oh god, it was dog shit.

Oh it was so bad.

Oh Jesus Christ, it was, I mean, try to be with him.

You weren't dominant throughout, it wasn't like I can win this.

No point, try to be with a better football team.

Really?

...