I think my cousin was getting married.

This is almost 10 years ago now.

Ray Tittara had to go to a wedding.

It was time to dress up.

And Ray needed to look good,

because their date was incredibly stylish.

At the time I was newly dating my partner,

who really experienced joy in getting dressed up for things

in a way that I did not relate to and really wanted to experience.

Like if my partner's putting on a velvet floor-length dress,

I'm like, oh, damn it, that's good.

Ray normally wears kind of androgynous casual clothes.

You know, like jeans, Hawaiian shirts, gray sweaters.

But by and large, formal wear is still so starkly gendered.

For this wedding, Ray realized that we're going to have to get a suit.

I just knew that I probably needed a suit

because I didn't feel comfortable wearing anything else

for, you know, when I had to get dressed up.

Ray was not excited about wearing a suit.

It honestly seemed kind of boring and intimidating

when you contrast it with the thrill and excitement

of floor-length velvet dresses or jumpsuits and makeup and heels.

...