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Judge John Hodgman

Subarule of Law

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.87.7K Ratings

🗓️ 10 August 2022

⏱️ 76 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Sophie brings the case against her husband, John. John would like to get a Subaru Baja. But Sophie is worried that his dream car includes a manual transmission. She doesn’t want to have to learn how to drive stick in order to drive his car! Who’s right? Who’s wrong? With Expert Witness River Butcher!

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bale of Jesse Thorn. This week, Subaru

0:07.2

of Law. Sophie brings the case against her husband, John. John would like to get a Subaru

0:13.2

Baja. Sophie's worried his dream car includes a manual transmission. She doesn't want to have

0:19.0

to learn how to drive stick in order to drive his car. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only

0:24.9

one can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure

0:31.0

cultural reference. The stars nestle up against one another, clustered in shining. In the

0:39.2

silent emptiness of the universe, they brightly twinkle on, because they still believe that

0:45.2

their sparkle will reach someone someday. Bale of Jesse Thorn, please swear the litigants

0:51.6

in. Sophie and John, please rise and raise your right hands. Please swear to tell the truth,

0:57.5

the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever. Yes. I do. Do you

1:03.9

swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he lacks a convenient

1:08.1

truck bed? Yes. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed. I don't even have a four foot truck bed.

1:16.0

I don't even have a Subaru Ba-a-a-length truck bed. A mini bed as it were. The smallest

1:23.0

of beds is not a king. It's not a California king. It's not a queen. It's not a double.

1:28.5

It's a twin. It's a twin bed of truck beds. But we're going to get into all that in a

1:33.1

minute. John and Sophie, you may be seated for immediate summary judgment on these favors.

1:37.1

Can I ask you, what was the piece of culture that I was referencing as I entered this fake

1:42.9

internet courtroom, Sophie? What is your guess? I'm going to say what's the name of the Carl

1:50.6

Sagan space show that he did? Cosmos. I'm going to say Cosmos. The stars nestled up against

1:57.4

one another, clustered and shining. Cosmos. That's a really good guess. That's a good

2:02.8

guess. I'm going to put in the guess book. John, do you have a good guess or a bad guess?

2:06.9

I know you love. I saw you enjoying the title, Subaru Rule of Law. That's good. Yeah. I have

...

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