Hi, this is Janet Lanzbury. Welcome to UnRuffled. In this episode, I'm going to be responding

to a parent who says she's desperate for help because her two and a half year old constantly

demands her and her husband's attention. I hope I can share something to help this family

and anyone else dealing with this very common issue.

Okay, here's the note I received. Dear Janet, I'm so desperate for help that I decided

to come straight to you hoping you can offer some advice. My almost two and a half year

old demands constant attention and if someone, mainly me, doesn't give it to him, he either

throws a tantrum or does something he shouldn't be doing. So I inadvertently have to give

him the attention. I've tried saying, I need to do X for five minutes and then I will

come play with you. And sometimes he'll last one or two minutes, but generally he's

just right back under my feet straight away. And if I continue to stand my ground, he'll

do something either dangerous or destructive, which will ultimately demand my attention.

I'm feeling so frustrated because our whole world revolves around our only child. We

spend the whole day, every day, entertaining him, calming his tantrums and intense emotions

and following him around, putting out fires and cleaning up messes. This is not okay

anymore. My husband is a pilot, so he's home quite often. And we do employ a helper who

helps us with household chores and child watching. And up until recently, I've been a stay-home

mom. So as you can see, there's usually always someone who can be with him, giving him

constant attention, but it's getting out of hand. My husband and I can't even embrace

or have a conversation without him climbing in between us or interrupting us with loud

shouting. He's a very intense, persistent, strong-willed, sensitive child who needs better

parenting to be all he can be. What changes can I make that will have a lasting and calming

...