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This is Dennis for the Tice podcast.

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porous slash Titus. And now with the Armageddon Update, Christopher Titus. I'm Christopher Titus,

and this is the Armageddon update. And writing these stresses me a little bit. I never know what the hell to talk about. Should I continue to ass hammer the current douche we call president? Or let it go and talk about something innocuous. I never know, but it does stress me. So let's talk about that, stress. Hey, there it goes. See, but now I'm stressed that you guys had to wait for me while I de-stressed.

Quit looking at me. Do I got something on my face? Oh, my God. Stress. Makes us anxious, tearful, and lying in bed at 3.30 a.m. Look at the ceiling thinking over and over. How are they going to find my spent body dead from lack of sleep? eyes open, stuck to the bed because I've been sitting here for three months because everybody

forgot about me and no one loves me. my spent body dead from lack of sleep, eyes open, stuck to the bed because I've been sitting

for three months because everybody forgot about me and no one loves me.

Over time, continuously feeling like you have a small dagger-clod rodent running on a wheel

in your stomach will trigger heart attack, strokes, and even suicidal thoughts.

In short, stress can kill you.

But what about being told to stop stressing? That won't

kill you, but may make you kill the person who said it to you. To those of you who seem to think

that a couple of sentences from an old Tony Robbins party napkin will take away the stress of knowing

that the day of my death is out there and it's coming at me like Trump at a taco Bowl. And on top of that, I'm getting older every day and the bills keep coming.

And there's a new bump on my chest that may be male breast cancer or worse.

And implant put in me by some weird alien Illuminati-like organization that knocked me out

and surgically put it in to make me spew stupid crap like this until one day I've used

...