The following podcast is a Deer Media Production.

Hello everybody and welcome to the Beach Bible Podcast. I'm your host Jackie Shimmel.

It's 5.40 am and I'm on the precipice of having a mental breakdown.

I had one martini last night and it was like a super tanker to the brim, TTP to the brim.

And I didn't eat much yesterday and it laid my ass out.

By like four sips in, I was foaming at the mouth and like speaking in native tongues.

I don't even know what the fuck happened.

And I looked at you and I'm like, I nearly kind of drunk.

And then I started like talking about my abortion.

And I was like, I think it's time for me to go to bed.

I was like, I did what I needed to do, Andrew, for my life in my body.

And like, if I lived in a different state, I would not have that option, you know?

And like, I think about it and like, never a day, do I wake up even now that I have a beat.

Like, I never regret the decisions I made for my body.

And he's like, okay, thank you.

So that was fun. It's full of y'all.

I can't wait for all the wreaths and the garland and the pumpkin spice lattes.

It's going to be so fun.

It is hotter than Hades in Los Angeles.

And I need the weather to cool down because I'd like to run a fireplace.

And I need there to be a shift in time.

Because if you've ever had a baby, the newborn phase is fucking boring.

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