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Motherkind

Stop Waiting for Your Partner to Change — Do This Instead

Motherkind

Zoe Blaskey

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.8863 Ratings

🗓️ 30 March 2026

⏱️ 9 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

“Why am I the only one thinking about everything?” If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, resentful, or like the mental load is falling entirely on you since becoming a parent, this episode is for you. In this Motherkind Moment, Zoe shares a powerful conversation on one of the most searched and least solved challenges in modern motherhood - the mental load, emotional labour, and how it impacts relationships after children. Because for so many mothers, the pattern looks like this:👉 You’re holding everything in your head.👉 You feel unseen and unsupported.👉 Resentment starts to build. And the more you wait for your partner to change… the worse it feels. This episode offers a different way forward. One that actually works in real life. In this Moment, you’ll learn: Why the mental load in relationships creates resentment (and how to break the cycle) The biggest communication mistake couples make after having kids Why “if they loved me, they’d know” leads to frustration and disconnection A simple, non-confrontational phrase that improves communication instantly How to reduce resentment in your relationship without constant conflict Why “Done is better than perfect” is key to sharing the load You’ll also hear how shifting your communication — not controlling your partner — can transform your relationship dynamic over time. This isn’t about lowering your standards.It’s about creating a relationship that actually works for both of you. Watch every full episode on YouTube and subscribe.  Loved this episode? Follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode of Motherkind. It helps more mothers find the show and keeps our community growing. If you enjoyed this episode, you can listen to the full episode here: You can’t change them, but you can change yourself with Cat Sims Feeling like you’re carrying it all? Download your FREE Mental Load Cheat Sheet and learn how to start feeling lighter, even if nothing in your life changes. Connect with Zoe: Follow Zoe on Instagram, LinkedIn and TikTok Get Zoe’s Sunday Times bestselling book, 'Motherkind: A New Way to Thrive in a World of Endless Expectations’ This Motherkind episode is sponsored by: Headline sponsor Wild Nutrition, the brand raising the bar for women’s supplements. Want to feel the Food-Grown difference yourself? Get 50% off for three months at wildnutrition.com/motherkind. Ts and Cs apply. For a £100 sponsored job credit, visit Indeed.com/ Motherkind Sign up for your one-pound-per-month trial today at shopify.co.uk/motherkind  Start your children’s reading journey with Usbourne Books Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

This episode is sponsored by Osborne Books. I read non-stop to my girls when they were little,

0:07.1

and I have to say now they're 10 and 6. They are both avid readers. I really believe it's never too

0:13.2

early to start reading to your little ones. Osbournes don't tickle, touchy, feely soundbooks are

0:19.5

perfect to start their love of books. With a sound to

0:23.7

discover as you press each touchy-feely patch, these books are full of surprises for babies and

0:29.4

toddlers and even have music at the end. From dinosaurs and ducks to unicorns and tigers,

0:34.2

there are over 20 books to choose from, including the latest book, Don't Tickle the Donkey. As well as providing lots of fun and giggles, the books also support

0:43.4

sensory development. Start their reading journey with Don't Tickle Touchy, Feeley Sound Books,

0:49.8

available from all good booksellers.

0:56.4

Welcome to Motherkind. It is me, Zoe. This is the show for you, the woman behind the mother.

1:03.7

It is a Monday, which means we are sharing a Monday moment with you. This little shot of inspiration

1:09.1

this morning comes from the incredible Cat Sims and it is

1:12.6

all about the mental load, how she went from the brink of divorce and the communication style that

1:20.5

she changed everything. Here it is. Thinking and talking about the mental load for a couple of years now, what are the biggest

1:29.0

challenges that you see with it and that you hear we're all grappling with?

1:33.8

I think the biggest problem is that, and this is what I learned from my experience,

1:37.9

is that I was always focused very much from what Jimmy was doing wrong or what he wasn't

1:40.9

doing at all. And as much as those feelings were really valid,

1:44.8

like that was true, those resentments were real. I wasn't handling it properly. I hadn't figured

1:49.6

out how to solve it. I was just waiting for him to change. And actually what I realized is

1:54.8

that I can't change anybody else. I can make my wants and needs clear. But the only person, only thing I can change is myself.

2:02.9

And so I started to think, how can I change my behaviour in this pretty toxic dynamic

...

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