Stop Trying to Think You're Way Out of a Thinking Problem

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 20 April 2022

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Is it better to try and think your way out of, or through your problems or are you only making things worse? How can simply acknowledging your issues, and looking at them with curiosity actually help? Tony discusses the article, “How Analyzing Your Problems May Be Counterproductive,” by Ray Williams https://contextualscience.org/node/4935 (https://contextualscience.org/node/4935)Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/worksho (http://tonyoverbay.com/worksho)p to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch), you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com (http://tonyoverbay.com) and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ (https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ)

Transcript

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0:00.0	Last week I mentioned that I left my AirPods at a motel in Rexburg, Idaho, and I am now using a new pair, but I cannot lie, I find myself pulling up my old AirPods a couple of times a day to see what they're up to. I mark them on find my phone as lost, but they are most definitely being used. They are not lost. The funny thing is that I had the case custom
0:22.3	engraved. It literally says virtual couch podcast and my name. So as I'm recording this, I guess I
0:28.7	sort of hope that the person keeping them for me right now is listening. And if they are,
0:33.0	I really did mean to try and clean off the earwax that is built up around those silicon
0:36.8	ear tip things,
0:38.1	and that is absolutely my bad. I will take ownership and accountability of that. But why do I keep
0:42.7	watching them? I've purchased new ones, and again to the person that may be using them right now,
0:46.3	my kids will eat again next week, and it's almost summer who needs souls on their shoes anyway, right?
0:51.3	But I'm kidding. I know that continually checking and wondering and ruminating
0:55.7	really doesn't help me pretty much in any way, shape, or form. And speaking of wondering and
1:01.7	ruminating, how often do we find ourselves trying to psychoanalyze why we did something that perhaps
1:06.4	we aren't very proud of? Or why did my spouse not tell me that they were unhappy? Or why did my
1:10.6	partner engage in an emotional or a physical affair? So why do you think aren't very proud of, or why did my spouse not tell me that they were unhappy, or why did my partner
1:10.8	engaged in an emotional or a physical affair? So why do you think she did that? That is a question
1:16.6	that I was asked three different times yesterday, literally, in my office, followed closely by,
1:21.2	well, why do you think he did that? Being asked two different times, and then receiving the bronze
1:25.6	medal in therapy yesterday was, well, why do you
1:27.6	think that I did that? So we really do want to make sense of things. We want to try to figure things out.
1:32.7	We want to fix. We want to solve. And bless our little pink, squishy hearts, if that isn't just the
1:37.6	most adorable thing. Because in all honesty, we're trying to figure out why someone else did
1:42.2	something without being them and without having
1:45.0	their lifetime of experiences that in essence led them to do whatever they did, whatever that is.
	...

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