STOP Trying to Be Calm. This Is How You Actually Handle Emotional People

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast

Civility Media

Education, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Relationships

5 • 5.8K Ratings

🗓️ 30 September 2025

⏱️ 14 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Being told to “calm down” never actually makes you calmer. In this episode, I unpack what “calm” really means in conversation—and why it often backfires. Instead of aiming for a blank-slate calm, I’ll show you how to create a grounded connection—a way to stay present, regulate your emotions, and still lean into the conversation with honesty. And stick around until the end, because I’ll give you three powerful comebacks you can use the next time someone tells you to “calm down.” Thank you to our sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Fabric by Gerber Life: Apply in minutes at https://meetfabric.com/JEFFERSON BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube Follow me on Instagram Follow me on TikTokFollow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	calm? You want me to calm down? Is that what you said? If anybody's told you that you need to
0:06.5	just calm down, have you ever felt like that has actually calmed you down? No, never. In today's
0:13.6	episode, we're going to dive deep into what exactly is calm and what's even better, grounded
0:20.4	connection when it comes to difficult conversations
0:22.9	and as a bonus at the end of today's episode I'm going to tell you exactly what to say when
0:27.3	somebody tells you to calm down all that more coming right up welcome to the jefferson fisher
0:33.2	podcast where i'm on a mission to make your next conversation the one that changes everything.
0:38.3	If you enjoy learning tools to improve your communication, I'm going to ask that you please
0:41.8	follow this podcast. That means wherever you are listening, find the button that's
0:45.5	subscribe and click it. It's not a forever promise. It is a promise by me. And that is to make
0:52.2	sure that I make content that is going to make you a better communicator.
0:56.6	And if you subscribe to this podcast and if you listen to these episodes, my promise is that I'm
1:01.3	going to make you a better communicator. Thank you very much. Today's episode is brought to you
1:06.5	by Cozy Earth. As you know on this podcast, I love Cozy Earth. And what I'm really enjoying
1:12.4	right now in this Texas heat, we're still not in winter yet. It's still boiling hot and humid here
1:19.0	is bedsheets. What I love about Cozy Earth is that their bedsheets are unlike anything that I've
1:23.8	ever felt. And I'm at the age where I really appreciate towels and good bed sheets.
1:29.2	It's just, you know, you can tell the difference if you're going to be in a bed that feels good or not.
1:33.8	I can't get enough of Cozy Earth. And I encourage you to give it a try. And their money back guarantee and their
1:39.0	trial period is fantastic. So go to CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson. Use the go, Jefferson, for 40% off your order. 40% off. Cozy to cozyearth.com slash Jefferson, use the go Jefferson for 40% off your order.
1:46.2	40% off. CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson used to go Jefferson for 40% off.
1:52.0	Will you just calm down? If there's one thing that will send me through the roof is when somebody
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