Stop People Pleasing - with coach Sara Fisk
Breaking Down Patriarchy
Amy McPhie Allebest
4.9 • 654 Ratings
🗓️ 27 May 2025
⏱️ 56 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Amy is joined by coach Sara Fisk to unpack people pleasing behaviors, learning how women are rewarded for losing ourselves, rethinking our resources, and making more purposeful choices about when and where we people please.
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Sara Bybee Fisk is a master-certified coach and instructor who teaches women how to overcome people-pleasing, perfectionism, and codependency. She is known for her podcast, the Ex-Good Girl Podcast, and her work with the Life Coach School. Fisk is also a former scholars coach for the Life Coach School.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to Break You Down Patriarchy. I'm Amy McPhee, all the best. A few days ago, I got a text out of the blue from a guy friend who wanted to talk about some emotionally charged topics. I did not want to have the conversation. This guy had a history of not being a good listener, and I was also really stressed by some other things |
| 0:22.9 | that were going on for me at the time, and I was not in a great headspace. So when I saw his text, |
| 0:28.6 | I took probably 10 minutes carefully crafting a reply that affirmed our friendship, but told him |
| 0:36.3 | that I wasn't going to engage in the conversation at that time. |
| 0:40.4 | I sent the text and then noticed that my whole body was shaking with anxiety about how he would |
| 0:46.3 | respond to my very polite no. And you know what? That wasn't entirely unfounded. This guy replied back |
| 0:53.3 | immediately, no 10 minutes of careful |
| 0:55.8 | wordsmithing from him. And it was the rudest, most disrespectful communication I have received in a long |
| 1:02.9 | time. So I went into a panic and ended up soothing his feelings, telling him everything was okay, |
| 1:10.1 | that I cared about him so much, and that we |
| 1:12.6 | could talk about it at a later time when we saw each other in person. I was so kind. And I was so |
| 1:19.7 | mad afterward. I had fallen into the behavior pattern that I've been taught since before I can |
| 1:26.4 | even remember, keep other people happy, especially men, at all costs. |
| 1:32.8 | I am actively trying to rewire my brain to recover from this kind of people-pleasing. |
| 1:39.1 | But sometimes I don't quite know how. |
| 1:42.2 | And when something comes up in the moment that I'm not prepared for, |
| 1:45.3 | I just revert to that prior training. So I was thrilled to discover the work of therapist Sarah Fisk, |
| 1:52.6 | who is an expert specifically in helping women to stop people pleasing. And I'm so happy to |
| 1:59.6 | have Sarah with us today. Welcome, Sarah. It is totally an honor. I am a huge fan and just so great to be here. |
| 2:07.2 | So excited for this conversation. I wonder if we can start by having you introduce yourself to listeners. |
| 2:14.4 | Kind of personally, tell us where you're from, tell us some of the factors in your |
| 2:18.2 | personal life that brought you to the place that you are today. Absolutely. I live in Arizona in a |
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