Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

I have couples in my sphere who had deep attachment wounds were clearly a perfect match for each other in every way. And yet

their attachment wounds were so strong that the first three years of their relationship was just

absolute chaos, but they had tools, they had therapy, they had somatic work, they had processes,

and they just kept going because they loved each other. And they did get to the other side.

And so I've seen both.

And sometimes it just depends on your personality. If you're a really fiery person who's very

expressive and so was your partner, you know, this is Ben and I, there's going to be more outward

conflict than the type of couple who's maybe more inward and avoidant or just non-confrontational

in conflict. When you get two scrappers, even if they're doing the work, you know, when there's

something coming up, it's going to look different than the other couple who's perhaps more muted in terms of their expression.

Neither is right or wrong. It's just going to be different.

And we have to assess what we're tolerant of, what our boundaries are,

and make agreements for how we're going to navigate conflict so that we don't destroy the relationship along the way, which we can easily do.

We have to say, okay, well, these are the boundaries, this is the agreements, and we have to

lean in a little bit and honor our partner, even if it's hard, do some things that we maybe

don't naturally do to create safety so that we can get there.

I think I can't remember if it was the Godman Institute that talked about,

like one of the number one factors of deciding if a relationship's going to work or not,

is how you fight together.

Yeah.

It's like how you argue or communicate when there is a disturbance, when there is a frustration,

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