Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

If someone's in a broken relationship right now, maybe they've been arguing for years or fighting, maybe they have good weeks and then there's a bad week and it's the cycle of good and bad up and down and it just

feels like it's draining or exhausting. What can they do to start healing the relationship, to start

healing individually and the relationship to create harmony in the future? So the first thing to do

is to get into some good practices that will help calm your neurophysiology down. So I call

that brain preparation. You've got a calm, wise mind that's always active and always on your side.

Then we have our messy mind that's in the relationship. It's in the moment. It's the in the moment

messy mind. It's reactive. Reactive, learning. It's very normal. It needs a lot of guidance.

So the first thing is that when we're in that messy mind state, that's sending all this messy energy through the brain and it's triggering all kinds of, I mean, just think of an argument. When you start some stupid thing gets you going and then you end up, oh, yeah, what am I talking about? What's the point in the first place? Exactly. Well, why did I even bring that stupid thing up? We resolved that years ago. You know, why am I bringing that up now? That's what will happen if we don't calm down on neurophysiology. So it's get your neurophysiology come first. And you can do that with meditation, breathing with exercise, gym workout, with a creating space that, okay, we're both too hot now. Let's just like, get some fresh air. Let's

resolve this at a latest. Let's create mental, physical space. There's so many ways of doing that.

There's so many great sort of meditative breathing. Find something that works for you. It may not

be the same thing. Mac and I like to just create space. And I like to do a 3-7 breathing thing

that gets my neurophysiology under control. So you breathe in for 3 and out for 7. You push so much oxygen to the front of your brain and it's a very good way of calming down your neurophysiology. You can do that in a cool of 10 second pause. You can do it for 60 to 90 seconds. So it's 10 seconds that you do 6 to nine times. Great little formula for calming down neurophysiology. That's great. Those simple things that I know we know, but are we doing them? Or are you trying to push through? I've got to solve this now. I used to be like that. And so I had to learn to, hey, no, you don't have to fix it now, but you cannot fix. Is it possible to fix something when you're in chaotic thoughts?

You can, but it's more difficult.

Then the next thing that's very practical is you can focus on good stuff.

So it may just be good stuff about yourself.

Part of mental health is not just detoxing stuff, it's also building healthy stuff. If you've now calmed

down your neurophysiology and you now go and focus on something that you know makes you feel great,

that means you're pulling this up. When you pull this up, amazing things happen in your brain.

You change all the delta theta, alpha, beta, gamma frequencies, you calm down. Think of the waves

of the sea they're

bold they're deep and big and then they're build on the beach crash make little waves we want that

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