Hi my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

So I sometimes call them compassionate truth bombs because we need to hear them

but how do we do it has to do with timing and dosage so the timing is when they're really

raw when something just happened.

You know, now's not the time to say,

you know, this has happened with your last three boyfriends, right?

Maybe you're the problem here, right?

Have you noticed that going through people's phones

is not working well for you? You know, we are not to say that maybe in that moment and then

the dosage is how much are you going to say in a particular moment and in a

particular conversation it doesn't all have to happen in one

conversation so I think that that has to do with being a good listener and a lot of

us don't know how to listen and I think it's really helpful I see a lot of couples in my

practice too and if you can say to the person when they come to you with something

how can I be helpful in this conversation right now I know you're really hurting do you want to just

vent do you want a hug do you want me to help problem solve with you? Do you want my honest opinion or do you want me to hold off and we can have that conversation another time?

Let them tell you what they want so you can give them something that is helpful to them in that

moment and then in another conversation you might be able to offer them something more.

So instead of saying, you know, when they say like, oh, here's what's going on and we say oh well we

try to cheer them up like you know here's what you can do we try to fix it we try to

cheer them up we try to make them make it seem like it's not so bad, whatever we do.

Instead, just say, tell me more.

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