Hey guys, welcome back to Heal Survive and Thrive. I am really excited this week. We're going to dive

into being the fixer. If you're the person in the family that does the check-ins, has their hand in

everything, you are always in control. You're the fixer. You're the person in the family that everyone

goes to to help them with their problems. And you have so graciously taken on this role because quite frankly you've gone

through some trauma and that's the only reason why you take on this role and we're going to fix that

today a lot of people think that they're just being a good person i'm just being helpful i'm just being

kind but this isn't about you being helpful or kind this is about control this is about you needing

to feel safe in these situations by having

your hand in every single cookie jar. The problem with this is two things. One is you get burnt

out, you get exhausted, you feel resent at some point. The other problem is you tend to attract or

train people to be takers, to be people that will

take advantage of you.

And we're going to talk about the need of feeling safe because that's a huge part of

being a fixer in all relationships.

It's not about trying to make people happy.

It's not about helping people. It's about you being

uncomfortable in those situations and you being programmed over time because of what it is

that you've been through to kind of step in and try to save or solve or fix rather than

dealing with the uncomfortable feelings that you're feeling.

And we're going to get more into that throughout the podcast.

I always balance everything I do with one part education, one part, let's actually

solve the damn problem because we can't just talk about why we are the way we are.

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