Stop Calling Him a “Narcissist” (Use This Word Instead) - The Narcissism Trap Series Part One [366]
Flying Free
Natalie Hoffman
4.9 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 10 February 2026
⏱️ 17 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this kickoff to a powerful new series, The Narcissism Trap, Natalie Hoffman challenges a popular narrative in abuse recovery: labeling an emotionally abusive partner as a “narcissist.”
While that term may feel validating at first, Natalie explains how it can actually work against your healing by keeping you locked in the wrong story.
If you've been Googling “narcissist” at 2 a.m. to make sense of your painful marriage, this episode is for you.
🎯 Key Takeaways:
- Stop giving the abuse a medical label.
Narcissism is a clinical diagnosis that can distract from the very real pattern of covert oppression you’re living in. - Start calling it what it is: oppression.
This isn’t about someone who’s mentally ill or just "struggling." This is about power, control, and silencing your voice. - Shifting the language helps you shift your mindset.
When you stop analyzing him and start focusing on your own story, healing becomes possible. - You're not crazy or overreacting.
You're likely experiencing strategic emotional abuse often invisible to outsiders but deeply damaging inside your home.
Get Today’s Free Resource:
🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Get a free chapter by going to isitmebook.com
I will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying FreeNow.com, and you're listening to the Flying Free Podcast, |
| 0:08.9 | a support resource for women of faith looking for hope and healing from hidden emotional and spiritual abuse. |
| 0:17.2 | Welcome to episode 366 of the Flying Free Podcast. |
| 0:22.2 | Today we're going to start a brand new four-part series that I think is going to change the way you think about your relationship and maybe even the way you talk about it. |
| 0:31.6 | This series is called the narcissism trap. |
| 0:35.0 | And I want to be clear right from the beginning that I'm not here to tell you your |
| 0:38.9 | partner is not abusive. Oh my goodness. No. I'm not here to minimize what you've been through or to make |
| 0:45.1 | excuses for his behavior. In fact, we're going to do the opposite in this series. What I want to do is |
| 0:51.1 | challenge you to look at something that you may have missed while you've been frantically Googling signs of a narcissist at 2 in the morning. |
| 0:58.6 | Today's episode is called Stop Calling Him a Narcissist and use this word instead. |
| 1:05.1 | And I know that might sound confusing or even offensive, especially if that word has been |
| 1:09.3 | your lifeline for the past few months, |
| 1:11.8 | but stick with me, because by the end of this episode, I'm going to show you why that label, |
| 1:17.1 | narcissist, the one that maybe finally made you feel sane, it might actually be keeping you |
| 1:23.5 | stuck in the very trap that you're trying to escape. |
| 1:32.2 | All right. If you've spent any time online in the last few years trying to figure out what is wrong with your relationship, you've probably noticed something. The word narcissist is everywhere, |
| 1:39.3 | and I mean everywhere. Google Trends data shows that searches for narcissists have exploded over the last decade. |
| 1:47.0 | We're talking exponential growth. One data visualization actually ranks it among the most dramatic |
| 1:53.0 | search increases in the past 12 years. Narcissism and related terms like gaslighting are now among the most search definitions in the United States. |
| 2:04.5 | People are desperately trying to make sense of relationships that feel so disorienting. |
| 2:10.4 | And then there's TikTok. If you've ever fallen down the rabbit hole of hashtag narctoc, you know what I'm talking about. |
| 2:18.2 | That hashtag alone has billions of views. |
... |
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