She Stopped Asking for Permission: Jillian's Story [365]

Flying Free

Natalie Hoffman

Education, Self-improvement, Spiritual, Christianity, Divorce, Abuse, Christian, Emotional, Religion & Spirituality, Narcissism, Marriage

4.9 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 3 February 2026

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What happens when you stop asking for permission in an abusive marriage?

Today, Jillian shares her story of waking up to covert abuse in her Christian marriage and what it took to finally get out.

You'll hear how she recognized the patterns, why she chose to leave despite having a young son, and what life looks like now on the other side. If you've been wondering whether things could actually be different, this conversation will show you what's possible when you start rescuing yourself.

🔑 Key Takeaways:

The warning signs started immediately after marriage: Jillian noticed holiday ruining, rage, silent treatment, and passive aggression within the first year—but spent nine more years trying to fix it.
The permission trap: When Jillian hired a life coach without asking, her husband threatened consequences and demanded she "ask permission"—revealing his need for control.
Staying "for the kids" actually harms them: Jillian left because of her son, not despite him, knowing that growing up watching dysfunction would hardwire toxic patterns into his brain.
Divorce doesn't have to be a war: Jillian's divorce took just three months because she was willing to "buy her freedom" and give him what he wanted (money, custody, reputation).
Post-divorce transformation is real: Two years out, Jillian has rebuilt her self-trust, started a successful business, and is leveling up emotionally—proof that change isn't just possible, it's exponential.

Get Today’s Free Resource:

📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.com

I will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying FreeNow.com, and you're listening to the Flying Free Podcast,
0:08.9	a support resource for women of faith looking for hope and healing from hidden emotional and spiritual abuse.
0:17.2	Welcome to episode 365 of the Flying Free Podcast.
0:22.5	Today, our guest is Jillian Scott.
0:25.0	She is a longtime member of Flying Free and Flying Higher, and she's going to be sharing
0:30.2	her story of getting free from an abusive Christian marriage and rebuilding her life
0:36.1	from the ground up.
0:37.4	She is now a trauma certified life and
0:39.9	weight loss coach and the founder of the Hungry for Love podcast where she helps people
0:46.4	lose weight eating the foods they love. That sounds good to me. Welcome. Yeah, thank you so much for
0:53.6	having me, Natalie. It's such an honor to be here and so encouraging to be able to share this story with other women.
1:00.4	Awesome. Okay, let's dive in. Why don't we start with you telling us how you first noticed and maybe when you first noticed something was off in your relationship. Was it before you
1:13.7	got married? Was it after? Like, tell us about all of that. It was right after we got married.
1:19.6	We were engaged. Well, so let's see. We started dating. We dated for about six months in person.
1:25.8	We lived overseas. We met through the U.S. Embassy community. He was an active duty military service member at the time. And my mom is in the Foreign Service. And so we were able to date in those first six months. And then for the next year, we were engaged, but living in different countries. So he was nowhere near. We had a very long distance relationship. Oh, wow. So when he came back to the U.S., we got married, still didn't live together for the first six months. But in those six months, I realized we have some serious problems. And I had this, I drew this conclusion, I think around St. Patrick's Day,
2:02.7	we'd been married maybe about nine months at this time. And I was like, why does he ruin every single
2:07.1	holiday? I don't get it. It could be President's Day. It could be Veterans Day. Like, it doesn't
2:12.5	matter how big or small the holiday is, but I feel like he ruins it all. And then I felt guilty because I'm
2:18.3	blaming him and feeling like, well, he would just blame me and this, this isn't helpful.
2:23.8	And but I just in that first six to 12 months, I realized he was rageful. He would yell. He
2:30.0	would give the silent treatment. He'd be passive aggressive. There was a lot of blame shifting. I couldn't see all of those specifically at the time. I just knew things feel off. This feels terrible. And things were so good when we were dating and engaged. And so my mission then for like the next nine years became, how do I get us back to that place where we were dating and engaged and things
2:51.8	were good and actually be able to stay there? Because we could get there for a little bit,
	...

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