Stop Attracting Partners Like Your Parents
The R Spot with Iyanla
Shondaland Audio and iHeartPodcasts
4.9 • 908 Ratings
🗓️ 3 May 2023
⏱️ 45 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week’s callers might seem very different on the surface: The first experienced abuse as a child and keeps finding herself in abusive relationships, while the second caller had a happy home life, but feels that she’s not being loved the way she needs to. But, as Iyanla gets deep into the conversations with both callers, she realizes that they’re both dealing with a similar issue: The struggle of repeating the patterns and attracting partners who were like their parents. Can Iyanla help these women adjust their frequencies?
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I amla. I've been very open about the fact that I was not always good and making my |
| 0:08.3 | relationships work. I have been divorced three times twice from the same person. In other words, I have seen a lot and failed a lot in my relationships. |
| 0:19.0 | So I am here to share with you what I learned along the way because I did take copious notes. |
| 0:26.4 | Welcome to the R-Spot, a production of Shandaland Audio in partnership with I-Heart Radio. One of the most difficult and challenging things that we all face in life is unlearning what we learned as children. Whether it relates to how we |
| 1:01.9 | eat, what we expect, what we accept, |
| 1:06.3 | unlearning what we learned as children. |
| 1:10.7 | And until we can take a hard look at that, |
| 1:15.0 | until we're willing to say or recognize, |
| 1:22.0 | this is not good for me. |
| 1:24.2 | I know I've done it all my life. |
| 1:25.9 | I know my mother did it. |
| 1:27.0 | My grandmother did it. |
| 1:28.1 | My grandfather, the dog, the birds, the fish, everybody did it. |
| 1:32.8 | But until we're willing to look at how we do what we do |
| 1:37.8 | and the payoff we get for it, |
| 1:40.7 | it's going to be challenging to unlearn the things that we learned as children. |
| 1:48.0 | I frequently tell this story about me and the Brillo soap pads and it sounds so ridiculous but it makes a point. |
| 1:58.8 | My mom used SOS soap pads. They were blue and circle and they were high-class soap pads. And one day I |
| 2:12.1 | went shopping, my children were young, I had a very limited budget, and they |
| 2:18.2 | had Brillo soap pads on sale, and I could not bring myself to buy the Brillo soapads, which were 25, 30 |
| 2:30.6 | cent less than the SOS. I was in the supermarket, weeping because I didn't want to be |
| 2:39.5 | disloyal to the pattern that I had learned of cleaning my pots with a round blue soap |
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