Stop Asking Yourself the Wrong Questions: How to Unlock Deeper Fulfillment with Elliott Connie

Self-Helpless

Cloud10

Comedy, Science, Alternative Health, Health & Fitness, Education

4.8 • 3K Ratings

🗓️ 17 October 2025

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Delanie Fischer chats with Elliott Connie, Psychotherapist and renowned leader in the field of Solution Focused Brief Therapy, about shifting the questions we ask ourselves in order to transform our lives. They discuss the difference between comfort and happiness, how to go deeper in times of indecision and struggle, and simple practices and rituals that create lasting change. Discussed in this episode: SFBT and The Diamond Approach Rejecting Perfect Timing Syndrome Has What You Want Changed? And Can You Trust It? The Worst Question We Ask Ourselves Comfort vs. Happiness (and Why Comfort Can Kill Us) Will Therapy As We Know It Become Obsolete? Can't Do It In The Ideal Way? Do It A Little Bit. What's Your Version of Sunday Pizza Night? Capitalism, Social Media & Pursuing What Matters The Toughest Life Lesson Elliott's Learned ---- If Self-Helpless has supported you in some way, a quick 5-star rating or review (if you haven’t already) means so much! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416 Free goodies including The Quote Buffet and The Watch & Read List: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/ Ad-free episodes now available on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless Your Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com ---- Episodes related to this topic: Release Your Perfectionism Handbrake: Power Planning, Clean Rest, and Demystifying Procrastination with Sam Laura Brown: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/22e1c287/release-your-perfectionism-handbrake-power-planning-clean-rest-and-demystifying-procrastination-with-sam-laura-brown Cracking The Code To Behavior Change: Troubleshooting Tiny Barriers That Destroy Big Goals with Molly Maxwell: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24e651e8/cracking-the-code-to-behavior-change-troubleshooting-tiny-barriers-that-destroy-big-goals-with-molly-maxwell 10 Fascinating Tricks For More Wins And Improved Well-Being with Janice Kaplan: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/23c60009/10-fascinating-tricks-for-more-wins-and-improved-well-being-with-janice-kaplan Need a Strong Dose of Optimism? 5 Tips for an Instant Perspective Shift with Bill Burke: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/255fd6bc/need-a-strong-dose-of-optimism-5-tips-for-an-instant-perspective-shift-with-bill-burke Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, I'm dating coach Tali Karan, host of Dating Intentionally, where I help listeners date with confidence and learn to enjoy the process, whether you're new to the dating scene or you've been at it for a while.
0:12.9	Tune in every Tuesday and Friday for my no-nonsense advice on using dating apps and navigating new relationships without letting your anxiety take over.
0:20.6	You can find Dating Intention intentionally wherever you get your podcasts.
0:25.3	Lately, I've been so stuck in my head that I forget just about everything my therapist said.
0:34.0	Maybe I'm self-helpless.
0:36.3	Hey, everyone, welcome to self-helpless, where science, spirituality, and sustainability are brunch buddies.
0:41.7	I'm Delaney Fisher, and details about today's topic can be found in the episode description.
0:46.5	Returning listeners, if an episode of Self-Houpless has supported you in some way, a quick five-star rating or review, if you haven't left one already, honestly keeps
0:55.0	this indie podcast alive amidst the big old budget behemoths out there. So thank you for feeding
1:01.5	the algorithm a little treat for me. Ad-free episodes are now on Patreon at patreon.com slash
1:07.3	self-helpless. And info about some free goodies will be shared in the outro. Okay, it's
1:12.2	podcast time. What is a question that you find yourself asking regularly, whether that's daily or
1:19.4	weekly, that helps you kind of give yourself an instant perspective shift or clarity, maybe when
1:26.7	you're feeling indecisive about something or anything along
1:29.1	those lines?
1:30.4	I'm never indecisive.
1:32.4	How do you do that?
1:33.2	Please share.
1:34.0	I ask myself the single most important question you could ever ask yourself, and I ask
1:38.8	myself this question consistently, and I'm honest with myself about the answer.
1:43.7	And the question that I ask myself is what is it that you truly want? I think most people spend very, very little time asking themselves what they want. Most people, they spend all of their time asking themselves what they don't want. Most people, they spend all of their time asking themselves, what is it that they don't want?
2:05.6	And they spend a lot of their energy moving away from that, thinking by default, if I move away
	...

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