This is a fan fav episode. If you’re a human, you’ve most likely been in relationships and situations that spark regret, shame and confusion on what to do and who to be in the moment. So often, people spend time trying to please everyone around them. The way you dress, the way you style your hair, where you sit in the meeting, all of these decisions are so easily influenced by a want and desire to be given approval from the right people. But what about you? What do you want? How often are you spending time apologizing for feeling, and even better how often are you downplaying that you even feel anything? Najwa Zebian is an activist, poet and celebrated author. She joins Lisa for a second time to discuss how she came to radical self acceptance, and share the startling fact that we may actually be gaslighting ourselves when we diminish and disregard the pain we feel when vulnerability has been betrayed in the hands of the wrong person.  Najwa’s Questions for Self-Acceptance: 1. Who are you? 2. Why do I believe what I believe? 3. Why do I live my life the way that I do? 4. Why am I scared of X, Y and Z? 5. Why are you so afraid of feeling pain?  “When you build your home and other people you give them the power to make as homeless” -Najwa Zebian  SHOW NOTES:  Gaslighting Yourself | Why diminishing your painful experience lessens your self-worth [0:40] Homeless | How we build homes in others and end up homeless when they walk away [6:37] Toxic Savior | Trying to save someone doesn’t mean you’re owed anything, that’s toxic [9:47] Proof of Love | Examining the real cost of having someone love versus what you receive [16:03] Self-Aware | The need to be aware of your triggers and the filter you’ve created for life [19:56] Self-Acceptance | Self-acceptance versus indifference and know who you’re accepting [25:59] Identity Crisis | Najwa shares the personal crisis that made her question her identity [33:59] Being Hurt | Why you need to acknowledge the hurt and know healing in your power [39:30] Vulnerability | How to be open to vulnerability after being hurt even in protection mode [45:24] Unwinding Triggers | Finding the origin of your triggers and allow yourself to feel it [51:56] Self-Judgement | Not blaming or judging yourself for allowing things to happen [55:36]  Original air date: 10-27-2021 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices