Still Panicking: How to Fly Long-Haul

Nobody Panic

Plosive, Tessa Coates and Stevie Martin

Education, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.8 • 933 Ratings

🗓️ 25 July 2025

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Still Panicking: The summer holidays are finally here! To help you make the most of it, this week we look back at some of Stevie and Tessa's hottest holiday tips.

Tessa helps Stevie (and you) cope with an upcoming 27 hour flight. As ever, Tessa's tips feature light criminal activity and heavy role play (spoiler: pretend you're in business class and serve yourself snacks).

Recorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	This is your captain speaking.
0:15.3	We are cruising at 35 miles an hour.
0:18.6	That's right.
0:19.1	We're going down.
0:21.2	That's too slow.
0:25.1	Didn't say I was on a plane though, did I?
0:26.9	Oh, I could have made a good joke about your captain of the car and you're at the right speed.
0:33.3	Wow, this is an emotional roller coaster.
0:35.1	There's so much going on here.
0:36.1	There is so much going on.
0:36.9	Hello, I'm Stevie, and my good co-pilot, Tessa, is here. Doors to Manual, cross-check. Okay. Yeah, that was good, wasn't it? Put it on auto.
0:49.4	Taxying, doors to manual, seven by seven. This is, of course, our to fly a plane how to fly plane I wouldn't
0:57.0	even know where to begin I wouldn't know how to get into the cockpit I wouldn't know how to get
1:00.8	into the cockpit genuinely right welcome to this episode how to fly a plane it's actually how to fly
1:06.7	long haul how to fly long call because I'm doing it and Tess has just done it so it felt like
1:12.4	an apt episode. It felt apt. It's also just if you're thinking of going on a plane. Sure. Sure. Short haul.
1:18.5	Short haul. That's the thing. It feels different. This is why I wanted to do this episode. It does hit
1:22.6	different. It hits, it'd be like that sometimes. So I'm going to Australia and that's a long old flight.
1:31.1	And I feel like in my head, I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to do that because I've only really done short haul for the last of decade.
1:39.1	So in my head, I'm on a Ryan Air flight for like 17 hours.
1:43.7	Okay.
1:44.1	Which I know is not what it's like.
	...

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