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The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Steve Carell | War Else

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

CBS

Tv & Film, Comedy, Comedy Interviews

4.42.3K Ratings

🗓️ 5 March 2026

⏱️ 33 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

President Trump keeps undermining his administration’s own talking points about the combat operations against Iran, Israel’s foreign minister threatened “elimination” to anyone selected as Iran’s next supreme leader, and the CEO of McDonald’s is making food influencer videos.  “Rooster” star Steve Carell stops by to help Stephen Colbert raise some cash for World Central Kitchen by auctioning off one-of-a-kind pieces of television history ahead of the series finale of The Late Show. Learn more about what's up for grabs at colbertlateshow.com/ebay. Beloved comedian and actor Steve Carell recalls his Second City pal Chris Farley as “a force of nature” and says it was impossible to succeed as his understudy, especially in scenes like Farley’s signature character Matt Foley who lived “in a van down by the river.”

Transcript

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0:00.0

Your favorite true crime series, 48 Hours, is back for a new season, and so is the official

0:05.5

after show podcast, Postmortem. Every Monday, listen to a new episode of 48 hours, and then

0:11.2

join me, 48 Hours correspondent Anne-Marie Green on Tuesday for a new episode of Postmortem,

0:17.2

where we bring you a closer look at each case. This case was eye-opening on so many different levels.

0:24.1

Follow and listen to 48 hours on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts.

0:35.0

Please have a seat, everybody.

0:36.4

Welcome.

0:37.2

Welcome, one and all in here out there,

0:39.4

Mr. Mrs. America and all the ships that see to the late show. I'm your host Stephen Colbert.

0:47.0

Folks, I really didn't want to start the monologue by talking about the war,

0:53.5

but in honor of this administration,

0:55.8

I went into this without a plan. So, we've got to talk about it. I guess we're going to start

1:01.8

with that. I say war because it sure looks like a war, and Trump keeps calling her to war,

1:08.2

but Congress never declared it a war, and Maga was promised no new wars.

1:13.5

So the White House sent out a list of talking points to all the congressional Republicans,

1:17.9

telling them in no uncertain terms that if a reporter asks,

1:20.8

can you promise the American people this will not be a long-drawn-out war?

1:26.0

The answer to give is these are targeted major combat operations.

1:31.4

So it's worse than a war.

1:34.2

It's a war that got a thesaurus for Christmas.

1:39.8

Okay.

1:41.8

So it's not a war.

...

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