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The Overwhelmed Brain

Starting Sex Before the Bedroom - Achieving Closure After the Breakup - Attracting Authentic People

The Overwhelmed Brain

Paul Colaianni: Emotional Abuse and Relationship Expert

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

4.52K Ratings

🗓️ 21 May 2017

⏱️ 67 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When does sex really start? When you're taking off your clothes? The heated kissing or "petting" or… is there a lot more to it? If you are emotionally connected, you already know when sex starts - way before you ever step into the bedroom. If you are somewhat detached from your emotions however, sex is probably, mainly a physical thing for you. Regardless of where you are on the spectrum of sexual intelligence, this segment is all about how to build it right so that it is as enjoyable as it can be. The buildup, the trust, the vulnerability, the attentiveness, the receptiveness, and a whole lot more can make or break sex. If you want a healthy sex life, make everything else but sex as healthy and happy as possible. Where's your focus during sex? Segment one is dedicated to sex (it's clean, but still an adult subject matter, be advised!). In segment two, a woman writes to me and asks how to achieve closure and feel better after her boyfriend dumped her. He promised he would treat her right and stay with her but he didn't. What do you do when someone doesn't keep their commitment? Does a commitment last forever? And when it doesn't, how do you get to closure so you can move on with your life? Love doesn't override everything

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Life presents the toughest challenges.

0:03.0

Every day you are faced with decisions that test your ability to express who you really want to be in this world.

0:09.0

We're told to keep saying affirmations and keep thinking positively, but what do you do when that stuff

0:15.7

doesn't work?

0:17.2

Welcome to the overwhelmed brain where you'll learn to make decisions that are right for you

0:21.8

so that you can create the life you want now. Hello, this is Paul Kolyani, personal empowerment coach and host of the overwhelmed brain.

0:42.0

This is the personal growth show for the

0:43.7

critical thinker. On every episode we'll talk about practical down-to-earth

0:47.8

steps to help you improve your mood and keep you sane in this powerful journey we call life.

0:55.0

Everything I talk about in this show should not be mistaken for actual medical advice for treatment

0:59.0

and is intended to be for informational and educational purposes only.

1:03.0

All right, let's talk about sex, baby.

1:07.0

I want to talk about when sex actually starts.

1:14.0

I know it's odd to say it that way, but sex actually starts nowhere near the bedroom.

1:24.0

Sex actually starts nowhere near you starting to undress.

1:29.0

Sex is not about undressing and making things happen, at least the work up to it. Let's put it this

1:37.4

way. Forplay can be minutes, hours, days, weeks, and even years before sex, or at least good, healthy, enjoyable sex can be had. Because there are people that need the emotional buildup, the emotional

1:58.8

charge, and the emotional connection with sex as opposed to other people that just want that raw physical desire fulfilled.

2:10.0

And I'm sure there's a lot of people in the middle between that, between the emotions, between the physical desire, because I think what happens when you have the ultimate best sex life you can have is that you feel good throughout.

2:27.0

And on top of that you aren't bringing in

2:30.4

insecurities into your sex life.

2:33.0

I think a lot of us do that, right?

...

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