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Hey there, welcome to Radio Headspace. It's Dora. So a few weeks ago, I was catching up with a friend who's been single for a while. We were sitting on the floor eating takeout when she said, I think I want to start dating again.

And then immediately followed it with. But I'm not ready. I still have stuff to work on. I don't want to bring someone into my mess.

I nodded because I've said that exact same thing. And I know it comes from a good place. She wants to be intentional.

She wants to be thoughtful. But I also know this. If we wait until we're perfect before we show

up, we'll never show up. So I just said gently, there's always going to be a mess, but you're

allowed to make room for something good alongside it. We think that we need to be a mess, but you're allowed to make room for something good alongside it.

We think that we need to be fully healed, fully confident, fully clear before we begin.

But the truth is, readiness doesn't always come before the leap.

Sometimes it shows up after.

And what if being a little unsure doesn't mean that you're unprepared?

What if it just means that you're human? This all reminds me of a book called How to Not

Die Alone by Logan Yuri. But more than that, it's a guide to what's getting in our way.

One of the patterns she identifies is what she calls the hesitator.

Hesitators are people who say, I'll start dating when I've lost weight, or when I'm more secure in my career,

or when I finally figure out how to love myself.

...