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Absolutely Not

Spring Break Guardian Angels

Absolutely Not

Dear Media

Heathermcmahon, Instagram, Comedian, Advice, Funny, Callin, Female, Arts, Aperol, Personal572339, Comedy, Entertainment, Hotline, Humor

4.914K Ratings

🗓️ 1 April 2026

⏱️ 76 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On this episode, Heather is at the LA studio and welcoming her first live callers! These hussies really bring some wild spring break Absolutely Not’s to Heather and we are forever changed! We have callers that were down at the Villages, on a hetero bachelor party in Baltimore, wheelin’ and dealin’ in Daytona as a newly crowned amateur stripper, a near miss on girls gone wild Gen Xer and someone who voluntarily went on a Greyhound for over 24 hours.


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Transcript

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0:00.0

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

0:06.5

Welcome to the Absolutely Not podcast, where we do the most and the least at this same damn time.

0:12.6

I'm your host, Heather McMahon.

0:24.4

Hello, Le and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of the Absolutely

0:28.1

Not podcast.

0:29.4

I'm your host, Heather McMan.

0:31.1

I'm here in Los Angeles.

0:32.6

Excited to be here with my favorite producer, Josh, Tina with the wean is here.

0:36.8

We're just thriving.

0:37.7

We're doing the most.

0:38.9

And this is going to be an exciting episode because we have live absolutely not listeners waiting in the wing.

0:45.8

And I had you guys call in last week with your Absalomnauts from spring break.

0:49.8

I know we're on the tail end of a lot of spring break.

0:52.5

Some people still haven't gone on them.

0:54.7

But I, to me, I was always a, you know, Iids of March, spring break, girly. My birthday was always on

1:01.6

spring break. So spring breaks were very important and epic to me. So we are going to try, try this.

1:07.9

Again, this is an experiment. Hopefully it goes well with talking to you all live

1:12.8

about your spring bake, absolutely nuts, and spring break experiences. So we'll get into that

1:17.9

in just a second. But I want to let you all know, had the best weekend ever of shows.

1:24.5

Truly, round of applause, hat off to you, ladies, in Royal Oak, Michigan, aka a nice

1:31.8

suburb of Detroit, and Red Bank, New Jersey, home of Bon Jovi, I believe, no, he's from Freehold

1:38.5

or something, close by, Bon Jovi is in the atmosphere. Incredible shows. The best audiences just really, it reinvigorated a deep spark and love and excitement in my loins of how much I love performing for you guys. This hour is just truly so much fun for me. And we tried a bunch of new shit this week, and it was successful.

...

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