Tony Overbay, LMFT, welcomes Kurt Francom, the executive director and podcast host of Leading Saints ([Leading Saints](https://www.leadingsaints.org)). Kurt's first book, "Is God Disappointed in Me: Removing Shame From the Gospel of Grace," is available on Amazon ([Amazon Link](https://amzn.to/49BYUCk)). In a candid admission, Tony shares his emotionally immature reaction upon discovering Kurt's book through a third party, revealing the concocted narratives in his head about their relationship, with Kurt unknowingly cast as the villain. The revelation of Tony's oversight in missing a crucial recording sent by Kurt months earlier brings to light the miscommunication that unwittingly altered their friendship dynamic. Peace is restored Through their conversation, and their bond of best friendship is reaffirmed. The discussion then shifts to Kurt's book, delving into the intricate concepts of ego and identity. They explore the notion of a healthy ego, the pervasive quest for validation, and how living for an identity differs fundamentally from living from an identity that has been validated by divine grace. Kurt highlights the identity paradox, suggesting that receiving grace allows us to extend it more freely. He references Carl Rogers, stating, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can begin to change." This acceptance is seen not as a form of apathy but as a mindful acknowledgment that paves the way for genuine personal transformation. Kurt deepens the conversation by asserting that recognizing our inherent validation from God enables us to cultivate a meaningful relationship with Him. This evolution occurs not because of our deeds but due to our intrinsic value and identity. 00:00 Introduction and Casual Banter 00:33 Discussing Kurt Francom's New Book 01:34 Exploring the Concept of Acceptance 02:20 Reflecting on Personal Experiences and Challenges 03:26 The Importance of Validation and Acceptance 04:59 Unpacking the Imposter Syndrome 06:25 The Role of Repentance in Personal Growth 08:13 Understanding the Impact of Misunderstanding God 10:00 The Power of Acceptance in Personal Transformation 12:06 The Journey of Repentance and Turning to God 13:42 Conclusion: The Power of Acceptance and Repentance 22:10 Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms and Their Impact 22:42 The Role of Validation in Our Lives 23:37 The Struggle for Acceptance and Validation 24:42 The Power of God's Love and Validation 25:31 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Differentiation 26:48 The Importance of Embracing Change and Growth 28:03 The Role of Ego in Our Personal Development 28:38 The Power of Grace and Forgiveness 29:40 The Struggle with Validation and Recognition 30:07 The Journey of Writing a Book 31:21 The Power of Curiosity and Openness in Learning 32:20 The Role of Identity in Our Spiritual Journey 34:16 The Importance of Acceptance and Self-Respect 35:35 The Power of Differentiation and Self-Awareness 37:46 The Struggle with Defensive Narcissism 39:42 The Power of Acceptance and Self-Validation 41:44 The Journey of Self-Reflection and Growth 43:14 The Power of Humility and Self-Acceptance 44:06 The Journey of Writing and Publishing a Book 45:17 The Power of Authenticity and Self-Expression 45:55 The Importance of Embracing Change and Uncertainty 46:46 The Power of Self-Acceptance and Self-Love To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ