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Hello and welcome to Spectator Out Loud with me, Lyndon Ken Cairn. Each week we choose our

favourite pieces from the magazine and ask our writers to read them aloud.

Coming up on the podcast this week, Freddie Gray takes a trip to Planet Biden and imagines what would happen if little green men invaded Earth and found a big orange one back in the White House.

Kate Andrews finds herself appalled by the so-called advice routinely handed out to women

that can be at best judgmental and at its worst slightly bullying.

And Lloyd Evans spills the beans on searching for love on his recent blind date, courtesy of The Guardian.

First up, it's Freddie Gray.

If aliens attacked Earth, do you think we would be safer under Joe Biden or Donald Trump?

That's a question in a new poll of American voters, and 43% of respondents opted for Trump,

32% for Biden, while 25% sagaciously picked don't know. It's fun to imagine President Donald in charge against the extraterrestials.

Zod Blug the Magnificent is a good friend of mine, Trump would shout from the White House lawn

as the helicopter blades of Marine One clattered away behind. He said some the magnificent is a good friend of mine, Trump would shout from the White House lawn,

as the helicopter blades of Marine One clattered away behind. He said some very nice things about me,

believe me, things you wouldn't believe. But we can't have him exerting the supreme authority of the nebulons over our beautiful planet, the most beautiful planet in the universe, they say.

The little green men wouldn't know

what to make of the big orange one. Sci-fi aside, that survey might be more revealing than you

think, especially given the current mania for unidentified aerial phenomena, and the fact that

the polls consistently show that almost half of Americans believe alien spacecraft have visited our world.

Americans might not like Trump, but a growing number believe their nation is in peril.

...