Since we're doing it noir, I'm going to make it a little bit jazzy.

Ooh!

Now gather around my children into an alternate plane,

where the story isn't canon, but the bullshit's still the same.

Where our heroes are still heroes, they're the same old reckless guys,

but they've got themselves an office and they're now all privatized. Our story's just beginning. Our adventure never ends. The saga of the heroes that we call the Dragon Friends. The saga of the heroes that we call met our heroes.

Uptown, that gilded paradise where the rich denizens of water deep trade values and sums incomprehensible to the citizenry, a place of tranquil and discreet

business, however now the scene of a dark and dire crime.

The dragon friends are trapped in a street with no police or help at hand, three

ruffians already drawing knives and descending on the three of you who seem to be hugging each other around what appears to be a paper parasol.

This is going to be a cake walk.

Well, do you like the taste of cake?

Sure, who doesn't?

Absolutely.

What kind of question is that?

Yes, because everybody loves cake.

Wait, what kind of cake?

I'm afraid cake's not on the menu.

The only thing we're serving is...

Jelly.

Piss.

Bill, use you piss rock.

...