Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership, an ongoing series of executive

coaching tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to

be perceived. I'm Tom Henschel, your executive coach, and today we're talking

about speaking your truth.

Rosa's main coaching goal was to become more assertive. Her boss, her teammates, and her

direct reports all wanted her to manage more boldly, share her wisdom sooner, and

speak up when she saw things going awry.

But Rosa was very uncomfortable asserting herself.

She was aware that this hesitant part of herself caused her to miss opportunities.

She often wished she could be more

assertive, but she said, as many coaching clients do, this is the way I've always been.

Our early coaching conversations explored whether Rose's quiet, non-confrontational nature was

hardwired, like her vision or her hearing. She decided that it wasn't, that with conscious effort she would be able

to show up differently. When I asked what stopped her, she said, I worry what people think of

me. And then she laughed ruefully. I worry what people think of me."

And then she laughed ruefully.

Worrying what people think of me keeps me from speaking up, but people would think better

of me if I spoke up. She shook her head at the irony.

One day she mentioned a situation I thought would be a terrific low-risk opportunity for her

to practice her assertion skills. Rosa told me about two team members who had a love hate

relationship with each other. She said they're in each other's offices all the time

with the doors closed and half the time they're giggling like they're at a junior high school sleepover and

...