Something's Burning: Squid Ink, Scallops + Quick Sand Kinks with Sal Vulcano + Jay Larson | S6 E11

Bertcast

Berty Boy Productions

Performing Arts, Arts, Comedy

4.6 • 10.7K Ratings

🗓️ 28 October 2025

⏱️ 107 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

My friends Sal Vulcano and Jay Larson come by the kitchen to talk about crowd work comedy, old man health, and quicksand p*rn – just to name a few. I make squid ink pasta and scallops while we figure out exactly HOW the squid ink is obtained… and Jay and I bully Sal into sticking his finger into boiling hot pasta sauce. Check out Jay’s special, Sounds Like Bruce - https://youtu.be/V_8KgbIHc4E?si=vHxp1lhfYCKCTdwm Follow Sal: https://www.instagram.com/salvulcano Jay: https://www.instagram.com/jaylarsoncomedy Recipes: https://www.somethingsburning.show/recipes-season-5 Sponsors: Magic Spoon - Get 5 dollars off your next order at https://MagicSpoon.com/BURNING NASCAR - Make sure you’re dialed into all the high-stakes action – The NASCAR Cup Series Championship at Phoenix Raceway. Sunday 3PM Eastern on NBC and Streaming on Peacock. Momentous - Go to https://livemomentous.com, and use promo code BURNING for up to 35% off your first subscription order. SUBSCRIBE so you never miss a video https://bit.ly/3DC1ICg For all TOUR DATES: http://www.bertbertbert.com For Fully Loaded: https://fullyloadedfestival.com For Merch: https://store.bertbertbert.com YouTube▶ http://www.YouTube.com/user/Akreischer X▶ http://www.Twitter.com/bertkreischer Facebook▶ http://www.Facebook.com/BertKreischer Instagram▶ http://www.Instagram.com/bertkreischer TikTok▶ http://www.TikTok.com/@bertkreischer Text Me▶ https://my.community.com/bertkreischer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Dude, I was walking with the kids and I said to him, I go, listen, if I ever get old and I can't take care of myself, do not put me an old age home.
0:06.3	I go, you take me up to Washington and you put me down.
0:08.7	And my daughter goes, we are not putting you down. We're going to take care of you and put you in a home. I go, I don't want to be in a home. She goes, but then you won't be living? And I go, you think I'm living in a home?
0:18.1	And then it just clicked.
0:19.0	I'm like, she's nine.
0:20.3	Yeah.
0:22.4	Hey, something's nine.
0:22.9	Hey!
0:26.3	Something's burning. Something's burning.
0:28.6	Something's burning.
0:32.9	Florida, baby, I'm coming home.
1:13.4	On the permission to party world tour, October 30th, Jacksonville, Florida. I cannot wait to go surfing. November 1st, Orlando, Florida, and November 2nd, Estrose, Florida that's in between Fort Myers and Naples, get your tickets, and avoid scalpers by going to birdpurup, burt.com to your lowest ticket prices. You know, my name, I love scallops. Scalps is my favorite seafood, and I just found that I had like cut it, start cutting down on it. Because it's like a, because it's a shellfish, it's spreading of your cholesterol, right? Yeah, it's yeah, cholesterol. No, no, that's a, that's a farce. TMAO. No one's gonna listen to you about a health, food related issue. Yeah, I had it. I love, I love, no, I love when you're on a plane with someone and they tell you something. They're like, nah, you need all see me.
1:11.8	Like, it really goes, no, I love when you're on a plane with someone and they tell you something.
1:13.5	They're like, nah, you need all see if you want.
1:24.7	Like, it really goes, yeah, and that bottom number in your blood pressure, ignore it. Yeah. I go, for real? He goes, yeah. I go, mine's crazy. He goes, mine too. The best. Not the best. This is going to end sad.
1:26.5	There was a guy used to run.
1:28.4	He used to run. He used to a guy used to run.
1:28.5	He used to run the Des Moines-Bone-Foneybone, Paul. Paul Lane. And my first blood work I ever got back. My cholesterol was high. My blood pressure was high. And I was like, and he goes, I got really freaked out. I wish. How were you? I would love to know what age Burke Kreischer decided to get that shit checked.
1:47.4	Yeah.
1:48.0	35. All right. And I was like, I was like 35, 36. Maybe 36. You did blood pressure medication? Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. What do you want? It's got to balance out. There's like three of them?
2:01.6	Yeah?
2:01.9	I don't know.
	...

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