Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.

The show is about to begin.

I am so viscerally afraid of accidentally texting the chief of police.

Kind of weird, that's all she wrote.

You are in my thoughts and prayers in perpetuity.

Now mind you, I don't even have the chief of police's phone number, and why would I?

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to monologging.

I'm Mads Mitch, and I'm your host today and always because

well quite frankly this is literally my podcast so who else is going to host it. Happy freaking Monday and

happy freaking February and also happy freaking new year. I've decided my new year starts in February. Um, but if, if the first two weeks

of February don't go well, then I will just resort to celebrating Chinese new year. And I will

continue to just kind of put off the start of the new year until one sticks personally. Uh, I hope you

had a good weekend. I hope you're feeling well rested and rejuvenated and ready to tackle whatever life

might throw at you this week.

And I don't think that that's asking too much of your favorite podcast host.

I really quickly, I'm sure most of you caught this at some point, but the reason I didn't

upload an episode last week is because my dog passed away.

I'm not going to talk about it because I will start crying.

It's truly been brutal.

I have just been heartbroken and distraught.

And then the fun thing that the universe always does is kind of happening. And I have just

had very much a when it rains, it pours type of month. Just about every facet of my life is falling

...