Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman Podcast. I'm bailiff Jesse Thorne this week. So help me goth or whatever. Charlotte brings the case against her friend's summer.

Which holiday is more goth?

Halloween or Christmas?

Summer says the answer is Christmas.

Charlotte disagrees.

She says, Summer isn't even living her Gothic Christmas truth.

Who's right?

Who's wrong?

Only one can decide.

Please rise.

As Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure

cultural reference.

Often in the middle of the night, Mother would decide that we had to talk to the Ouija board, so we'd all sit around the board with her.

Our fingers poised lightly on the planchet, and when mother was on the board the planchet would fly around

wildly and the board would say things like tonight is the night of the killer.

And the board would say, he's coming,

get out now, so we would all go dash downstairs and jump in the car and go check into the

travel motor lodge on Bay Street which Helen and I always loved because we loved staying in motels.

But the man at the reception desk always found it rather odd because he knew that we lived in Savannah.

Bail if Jesse Thorne please swear them in.

Charlotte Summer, please rise and raise your right hands.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,

...