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Stiff Socks

Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

Stiff Socks

Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios

Stand-up, Comedy

4.87.3K Ratings

🗓️ 8 March 2020

⏱️ 6 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The boys take a quiz to find out if they're smarter than a fifth grader. Will Trevor be held back? Can Michael even figure out what age a fifth grader is supposed to be? They also take a kink test to learn about themselves and whether or not they would enjoy being someone's Sex Pet or Rope Bunny and then finally get an update from a listener who made some progress on losing his virginity. This one is off the rails.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey boys, let me see I'll show you real quick

0:03.3

Hold down this for this damn full of skittles. Let me see

0:07.5

That was hurt bro. I'm not good. No, are you good at anything? Yeah. Oh you think you're good?

0:12.6

All right. Yeah, you know what I think I think your nose gets on that clip, bro

0:18.2

And then I just be called like a hypothermia should be vibrating not him bad

0:23.1

So I hear you I'd be I'll be moving it back and forth like you ever seen you ever seen a dog get angry like a toy

0:29.3

That's the move though. Yeah, yeah

0:31.6

Yeah, you gotta get baby me me me me me me me me me me me me. Yeah, you I

0:39.1

That's what why do you sign my left right hit him with that left right tongue? Yeah, but I'm not I

0:45.5

Grab the clip with my my lips and I give it a little suction

0:49.4

Yeah, I don't and I give it a little suction. I don't and I give a little section

0:54.0

You do here you go. I give a little suction and then I fucking and then I play with the clip with my tongue

0:58.6

I'm giving suction and let me tell you something never works

1:04.8

Okay, you know how like people be like if you can chew a cherry stem and a knot

1:10.6

You're like good at making out. Isn't that a thing? Yeah

1:14.6

Where do you do it? I don't know you never try

1:18.3

I feel like I have but it's stupid. You know what I used to do. I'm such a fucking cheater

1:22.8

I would take a cherry stem tie it and then be like yo, yo, who can do it?

1:27.1

And then it would try and like yo, I'm why did you get all manly when you and you know, hey, which one are you home?

1:32.1

We say hey, we damn boys, but if you really a part of them boys chew up this cherry string

1:36.3

What I'm gonna think though like that was like hot like

1:39.8

What's going on in the sunny mouth isn't hot. It's not how you make out

...

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