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Slop Quest

Slop Quest 103 GERD National Championships

Slop Quest

All Things Comedy

Comedy

51.2K Ratings

🗓️ 3 November 2025

⏱️ 64 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Patreon.com/SlopQuest for full episodes, a backlog of hundreds of hours of other podcasts with Ryan and Andrew and much, much more!

Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! This episode Ryan loses his voice at the same time as Andy. Ryan for mysterious reasons and Andy because of a massive onion based GERD attack. Andy has to paint a commission of Godzilla with boobs and a dong. Then they pitch the GERD National Championship where Andy faces off against Steve Ranazizi. Andy keeps getting slapped awake by the corner of his fitted sheet around 2 am every night. Then they come up with a plan to stop men from taking dick pics on the toilet with a new invention. Then Andy tries to whisper sweet nothings into his wife’s ear while he’s gerding. Then they pitch a History Chanel show “Decoding The Past: With Ryan O’Neill”. Andy gets sent to Fat Space Camp. Then Andy’s mom laments buying him a Starter Jacket.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

how great what that is it's genius

0:02.7

how's insane

0:03.6

hey oh oh a little horse

0:07.2

yeah do you want to uh do you want to start your story over

0:11.4

no that's okay dude it's about taxi cab confessions

0:15.1

and about people yeah why we're going to be monetize this guy is ryan o'neill hey it's

0:20.5

a stand-up comedian my name is andrewitt i'm kind of an ill Why were I get demonetized? This guy is Ryan O'Neill. Hey, it's O'Neill in the morning.

0:21.3

He's a stand-up comedian. My name is Andrew DeWitt. I'm kind of an illustrator. He's a stay-at-home dad. Yeah, right. That'd be great. He's a stand-home dad that paints huge cocks. Dude, I had to cure. Together were the Voltron of filth. I had to cure the UV cure the Godzilla cock today.

0:41.0

Oh, did you? to cure together. We were the Voltrata filth. I had to cure the UV cure the Godzilla cock today.

0:41.1

Oh, did you?

0:41.6

You should try to cure your mental illness.

0:43.7

When I unwrapped it, it was just leaking toxic resin everywhere.

0:48.3

And I had to fucking put it in the sun and cure it.

0:52.1

Of course, now all my neighbors see like this thing on a pedestal. It's a weener with balls on a pedestal. It's just, just tell them it's a fertility god. That's what I did say. I say, it's a fertility god. You know when the Chinese neighbors walk by, they salute it. They go, we salute you Chinese fertility god do they yeah because i don't know if

1:13.1

they have those now in korea they have the sexual health museum well no in china they have all kinds

1:18.9

of free also china goes thank you godzilla for defeating our enemies japan and all the horrific

1:25.4

things they did to us that That's why Godzilla started.

1:28.9

That's why the Chinese government has convinced the people that Godzilla's real.

1:33.7

The first Godzilla movie is him doing vivisections on Japanese scientists while they're still alive as revenge.

1:42.2

And then also shooting them up with experimental serums to see what they're

1:47.8

actually.

1:48.6

Some of that stuff I can't even read about, dude.

...

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