Hey, thanks for stopping by. My name is Josh.

Goodus pastor, Darma Punk's New York, since 2005, 17th year having the honor of giving these weekly darma talks, and for those of you new welcome the general format is I ramble on for about 35

minutes generally on some subject or another and then there is a meditation where

we explore some of the tools, Buddhist insights, therapeutic modalities, whatever we've been discussing,

we put it into practice and then at the end there's an encouragement to ask questions so that we can have more of a dialogue and then that's it.

And if you would be interested in supporting the work of a Buddhist pastor who lives entirely by donations, all everything I do, the teaching and the counseling and all that, is entirely by

donation, as is the 2,500 year old tradition.

The Benbo is Darma Punk's with an ex-NYC,

so thanks for that.

That's the entirety of my spiel.

And now, what are we talking about tonight?

What have we got on the agenda?

Well, I should know that because I've been thinking a lot about it.

It's mindfulness and communication or skillful communication. And tonight we're going to be focusing on ways to communicate through conflicts or also to convey needs, boundaries, difficult conversations, conversations that are important and

just maintaining secure attachment and friendships. So we are all born prematurely. Yes, we are. We are born

defenseless years and years before we can survive on our own.

And so the core drive that animates us from birth is to connect for security to express our needs for food, water, warmth, care.

We also connect to regulate our nervous systems

so that in distress we can be soothed down to a state of ease so that we can sleep and digest.

If we are constantly in a state of threat. All of those important capabilities go by the wayside. And we also

attach to others for learning how to develop. to

learning how to develop the capabilities that will allow us to

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