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Ask Pastor John

Signs a Single Should Stop Dating

Ask Pastor John

Desiring God

John Piper, Unknown, 163859, Pastor, Ask, Theology, Desiring God, Religion & Spirituality/christianity, Christianity, Religion & Spirituality, Questions

4.83.8K Ratings

🗓️ 6 February 2015

⏱️ 5 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

To be ready for a dating relationship, a young man or woman doesn’t only need availability and desire, but a growing relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Happy Friday listeners. We are joined again by Matt Chandler, the lead pastor at the village

0:09.9

church and the author of the new book, The Mingling of Souls. God's design for love, marriage,

0:15.6

sex and redemption. He joins us by phone from Dallas and Matt. I've got 10 questions on

0:20.8

relationships queued up for you. Here's number eight in our list. If a man or a woman is trying

0:26.8

to stop looking at pornography, but he cannot. Many Christian men struggle here. Are they ready to

0:33.2

date or not? And if not, what is the line between being ready and not ready to date for a Christian

0:40.6

porn addict? Yeah, so this is, this is an extremely, I think, complex question. It's hard to answer

0:48.3

outside of actually knowing the people involved. So my knee jerk reaction is, no, you're not ready.

0:54.8

Let's get this handled. But I think what I would want to do is sit down and I would want to

0:59.3

know what's going on. Where's mortification happening? Where's vivification happening? What do we

1:04.6

mean when we say porn addict? I mean, are we saying that this guy or this girl once a year stumbles

1:10.5

into? Are we saying this is every couple of times a month is, where are we in relation to frequency,

1:20.5

healing, victory? And I think all of those would come into play on whether or not I would

1:26.8

encourage someone to be in a relationship while they wrestled. The truth is, all of us, say,

1:32.4

every one of us are coming into our relationship with the opposite sex, needing further sanctification,

1:39.3

needing growth, needing to grow in our identity, needing our identity in Christ, needing to have

1:47.4

parts of our flesh mortified. And so this one's just going to affect the relationship in deeper

1:53.2

ways in regards to being able to, I've read almost everything I could on the horrific issues

2:02.0

that porn addiction brings about in a guy's or girl's ability to even be emotionally connected

2:08.0

to people. And so that's why I mean, I would kind of want to get to the bottom of who we're talking

2:13.0

to here. I mean, when we're saying addict, what do we mean by that? And so without kind of that

2:18.7

information, it becomes hard to just lay a hard answer down. But I don't know that I would say

...

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