Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

I'm summertime, fun time guest bailiff,

Monti Belmonti from 939, the river W R S I

in North Hampton, Massachusetts.

This week, side effects may include justice.

Yael brings the case against your boyfriend, Jeff.

Yael is Lipitorne about what to do with expired medication

and is unenchantix with the idea of keeping it.

Jeff says Yael needs to dim a tap the brakes on her worry

and to see the man off and is right.

Who's right?

Who's wrong?

Only one man can sort through the cotton balls

and pull off this childproof cap.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom

and presents an obscure cultural reference.

Upon entering my body, the podcast

would start a warm itch that would surge along

until the brain consumed it in a gentle explosion.

It began in the back of the neck and rose rapidly

until I felt such pleasure that the whole world sympathized

and took on a soft lofty appeal.

...