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Shutdown Fullcast

Shutdown Fullcast 4.32: Week One Reviewed, or SEC TRASH

Shutdown Fullcast

© Shutdown Fullcorp

Sports, Football

4.83K Ratings

🗓️ 5 September 2016

⏱️ 41 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Remember that thing where SEC teams were going to start playing real teams to start the season, and not cupcake games against the overmatched dregs of FCS? THAT MAY HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE. Ryan, Jason, and Spencer review the first weekend of the season up until Sunday, which we do not cover because we recorded this early on Sunday, when Notre Dame lost to Texas. It would have been fun to talk about Notre Dame losing painfully in OT to a Texas team it beat by thirty points and more last year, but we did not have time to discuss how Notre Dame could not stop the offense of a team that last year lost a howler to Iowa State. Again, we did not discuss this hilarious failure by Notre Dame, a team whose disappearance into a crater or timefold or other deep hole opening into another dimension would diminish the overall value of college football and society at large by zero percent. We also did not discuss how ugly-ass the ugly-ass Under Armour shirts Notre Dame's staff had to wear on the sidelines. Static-ass ugly-ass 1992-lookin-ass shirts. So since we did not discuss that, we talk about the following instead: --How the SEC faceplanted so very badly on opening weekend --Why the team with the kicker with the longer hair will always win a game, i.e. why Mississippi State lost at home to South Alabama --A special breakout on whatever Kentucky did, which was bad even by the deplorable and intense standards of Kentucky-level failure --We don't even discuss Alabama because this is a football podcast not an avalanche report --How FCS teams beating FBS teams is a bad thing for your FBS team as long as your team isn't Washington State, which now will reel off nine straight wins and go to the Rose Bowl because this is a new tradition they have and you can't mess with tradition Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the shutdown forecast listen after several months of isolation sadness

0:07.3

That's all that's all done

0:09.3

We're done the the grand winter of summer the offseason finished we're after week one

0:15.6

We we can safely say college football returned

0:19.3

And then with that everything you'd forgotten about i.e.

0:23.4

Misery sadness

0:25.4

shock horror

0:27.2

And occasionally it's partly moments of joy up there harvest came early this year

0:31.8

Guess what it's nothing but beetles the beetles got into the crops

0:37.3

Bumper a bumper crop of bowl weevils for every cotton farmer and college football all that hard work

0:43.7

You did in the plant and season just tending and caring to the soil

0:48.1

Carefully planning out your plots of land beetles everywhere

0:52.2

Yeah, I don't think anyone coming out of this weekend. There's maybe like seven teams maybe eight that are really happy with what they saw

1:01.7

Everyone else guess what you failed to fit this test LSU LSU you got you got a tractor full of fire ants great job

1:08.7

I mean all this talk about farming and yet it was the big 10 west that surpassed all expectations so

1:15.9

Man let us salute to America's farmers. That's really the theme of this weekend. I think as we all predicted the big 10 west

1:22.8

Most dominant division in college football most talented the highest paid coaches

1:28.9

The the dirtiest recruiting

1:32.3

The most the the most lacks academic standards just the most desperate

1:38.4

Institutions for any and all any and all football success

1:42.8

Triumph thing at last over the the SEC West which not much talent

1:48.6

You know not not a very talented region not much not much money in fan passion the coaches aren't paid very well

...

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