Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about navigating the difficult relationship,

from simple disagreements to emotionally abusive behaviors.

You deserve respecting kindness.

All the information on this show is meant for educational purposes only.

Always seek a professional for your mental health and well-being, and always pick your battles wisely.

I'm your host, Paul Koliani.

Thanks for joining me for another episode of love and abuse.

I am so glad that you are here.

Let's get right into the topic.

This is an email that I received recently.

I'm just going to get it right into it.

Because of my commitment to mental health, wellness, and my deep understanding of it,

I recognized how my significant other, who has been in AA and sober for a few years,

was being hurtful. I spent days carefully writing a letter with compassion,

detailing how I feel in the ways his behaviors

hurt me. My hope was that he would see his hurtful behaviors and do something about them.

Ideally, I fantasized that he would take my letter to a therapist and ask for help in

unpacking and understanding it.

He responded with an attack on me.

He didn't address anything I had written, but chastised me for writing a letter that was,

quote, all about me and didn't consider his feelings.

He said he has issues with me because I think I'm perfect and he wants a flawed

...