So there's a concept floating around right now that is sparking a lot of controversy,

especially among spiritual people. It's called the Let Them Theory, which is the title of Mel

Robbins' latest book, Let Them. And in case you didn't get to read her book yet, the main premise

is that you want to let people be who they are. So if they want to leave your life,

you let them leave. If they're not supporting you, you let them not support you. They want to

talk crap about you. You let them talk behind your back. You let them disappoint you, et cetera, et cetera.

But as you can imagine, this idea of letting people basically do whatever they want to do

has triggered a lot of people who believe that the let them theory is enabling a lot of bad

behavior and it's oversimplifying complex interpersonal dynamics especially if you don't

have a regulated nervous system letting people do whatever they want can feel quite traumatizing

and in this episode we're going to look at how best to navigate it and how to interpret it

and how to use the let them theory to our advantage. Because on the

surface, that pushback that the let them theory has gotten, I could see how it would be valid

from that sort of ground level perspective, from the binary black or white perspective,

letting somebody do whatever they want to do can enable

bad behavior. It can feel like you're being too passive. It does oversimplify trauma and

abuse and power dynamics. And it's true. From the ground level perspective, not everyone deserves

that level of access or autonomy in our lives. But that's why I always make the distinction between the ground level perspective, which is the more black or white, dualistic, linear thinking, and the spiritual perspective, which is the broader 30,000 foot view, which is the more both and type of thinking. The spiritual perspective, which is the broader 30,000 foot view, which is the more both and type of thinking.

The spiritual perspective is our ability to hold multiple truths in our awareness at the same time.

So to see what's happening at the ground level, not denying that, but to hold that as well as to hold the broader

truth at the same time. And here's what I want to offer. From the spiritual perspective,

let them is not a cop out. It's a call inward. And Pima Children, who I love to quote and read her

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